Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 8/20/2008

Question
me and my husband found out yesterday that our twin 5yr old boys are autistic,james is high function and jonathan is LOW,what are some tips for parents of twins?and do twins help each other in treatment along the way?,im desperate for any information,,thank you very much

Answer
Hi Riki,

I know this is devastating news for you. Take some time to adjust to this change in your vision of the future before you make any major decisions. As you've probably been told, autism is more common in twins.

It is my observation that twins have a close bond and do help each other, autistic or not. Because one is high-functioning, he may be able to help his brother communicate and reach out to the world.

I think the most important thing that parents can do when they learn their child has autism is to read some good books by parents and adults who have autism. You will get some perspective on the journey and possible outcomes. I will recommend some at the end of this message.

Also, beware of anyone offering a "cure." There are effective treatment programs to teach behavioral skills, communication and to educate these children. But, no treatment, vitamin or pill will change the way their brain is wired. There are often unique gifts that come with being "on spectrum" and only time will reveal them. I am not a fan of strict ABA (applied behavioral analysis) programs that stifle all spontaneity. Behavioral training has its place, but so does letting the child be a child. Look for balance in any program recommended to you.

I assume you live in the United States. Your local school district is responsible for providing a treatment program to meet their individual needs. What Jonathon needs will not be the same as what James needs though there will be some overlap. Speech therapy and occupational therapy should begin as soon as possible.

Each boy will have an IEP (individualized education plan) and you are a part of the team. Go to the meetings and listen to the ideas, ask questions and share what you know about your sons' temperaments and abilities. You should know that you have a right to request a meeting of the IEP team if things are not going well in school.

Lastly, don't give up on discipline. I strongly recommend against spanking as these kids don't get it. Time out, loss of privileges and other logical consequences work best. It will take more repetitions to get the rules across but they DO learn. Be willing to remove them from public situations where they get over-stimulated. No one wins when a child has a melt-down in the middle of the grocery store. But, don't isolate them, either. Since there are two of them, recruit a helper when you go out so each boy has an adult to assist him in behaving well.

There is so much more I could say, but this is getting long. Here is  a list of web sites for you to explore:

http://www.neurodiversity.com/main.html (many links to books, articles and resources)

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html (books and resources)

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm (the definitions and
government links)

http://www.autism.org/ (many links to information)

http://www.rettdevil.org (a discussion board for parents and persons with neurological and developmental disorders)

Feel free to write back as issue arise.

Best wishes,
Catherine