Expert: Trey McGowan - 9/25/2008

Question
I have 18month twin boys. While twin A is very social and demanding all the attention twin B is little bit withrown but not at all shy. He is also letting his brother hit him, pull his hair without fighting back too much and even though he protests when twin A takes toys he is not all upset too much, finds other toys to play with.
Twin B does not point at all, sometimes waves good by but it is mostly when he wants to go somewhere. He likes to play alone for most of the time, does not seek my attention but when I play with him he loves it. Plays "peek aboo", kids rimes and loves to be praised and claps and sais yeee so we can continue praising him. He does not share toys with us but willo come to us and want us to watch Teletubies with him when excited. He also does not answer to his name, never did...but is able to follow directions such as "get down", no, turn arround and do not tuch that.
He does not notice kids his age very often but when he sees them running arround wants to be chased and laughs when kidds are running arround and often wants to join in. Like I said he is not shy, often wants to be picked up even by strangers but lots of times does not respond when people talk to him. Loves to be arround daddy, and cries when daddy leaves the room. Loves grandma and grandpa and wants grandma( they live with us) to rock him to sleep. Often gives huggs and kisses and comes to us with kisses for no apperant reason. Likes to run arround a lot, likes to climb on things but is very carfull not to hurt himself, very carful...will never jump unless he is sure he will not get hurt.
Transitions from activity to activity very easy and if he realy wants something will take us by hand to what he wants...when wants to go out will bring his coat or shoes and say go, go. Does not talk too much, has about 10 words that he uses well when he needs to...when sees a toy he likes like a ball he will be excited will say Oh, ball or daddy ball.
We had the hearing checked, it was fine but hearing specialist and child speach therapist and other therapists said that he has Audatory Processing Problems and thayt he is very visual and that might be the reason for his somewhat poor eye contact. When we say for example "so big" he reakts and joins in play but it almost has 5 seconds delay in responding.
Does not have any repetative movements or odd toy play such as lining the cars, does not seek rutine...falls a sleep quite easy, when tired tels us sleep or simply comes to us and wants his "guga" pacefier and wants us to either rock him or rubb him to sleep. As far as pretend play, we are not too sure about that. Twin A pretends to feed his dog toy but twin B kisses him and hits him sometimes but does not feed him or anything like that. He likes to jump into the pillows on the flour and we can see he is mimiking swimming( we were at the coast for 3 months swiming every day) and now at home he acts like he is swimming sometimes.
Loves to watch TV but if we turn it off fusses a bit but can be easily destracted with other activities. He is very independant and he does not shy from kidds but he plays side by side with them. Both of my boys love to spin wheels of cars and other things but spinning lasts for maybe a ninute or two and he is off to the next thing.
In most ways he is as a typical toddler but does not seek our attention as much, when we interupt him and play with him he loves it but will not initiat it.
We were told that he does not understand us due to the fact tht he does not process information that he hears and we are starting therapy for that but we are still warried that he might have Autism. Twin A and Twin B talk to each other all day but we do not understand them, they seem to know what each wants and play well together.
When kidds aproach him and talk to him he acts like he ignors them but then out of blue pulls them to chase him or play ball. Sorry so long but we are really concerned
What do you think?"

Answer
Hi there, Amilats!

What do I think? I think that I am not a doctor, as I have said before many times in the past. Due to this, I can offer no diagnosis at all about your child, and particularly not a second opinion to a doctor. Remember that not all issues come down to 'autism', though. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but with a number of doctors saying the same thing (or so it seems that you've brought up) I would give that therapy a try before I started looking for a brand new diagnosis.

Remember that, right now, your boys are still quite young. They are only a bit over a year old, and have a *lot* of developing and growing to do. This means that, quite often, some odd habits and play can come up even the the most neurotypical children. Thus, worries at the moment are probably something best left for when the children are a bit older, or the 'strangeness' is carrying over even after a bad habit has been corrected. At 18 months old, it can be very hard to tell what's 'exploration' and 'eccentricity' and what's 'possible developmental disorder'. That's the job of you, the parent (to tell when something has gone too far) and the genuine experts, rather than just someone who's reading about them on paper... er, monitor.

And as a final note, my Expert opinion doesn't cross into the world of twins. I have not had one, nor have I had a lot of years to do research on them. However, in my jack-of-all-trades way, I know that 'twinspeak' is actually a fairly common thing, and that many twins (probably the vast majority) have a very special bond between them. Because of this, you will find things as you have described, with the pair knowing what one another want without saying a word of English. You might want to research this! You might find it to be fascinating! I know I always did.

I wish I could offer more insight here, but other than 'see how the therapy goes and keep an eye on things', as I said, I'm no doctor and can't offer anything like a second opinion. Still, any questions, comments, feedback, follow-ups, and the like are quite welcome! Good luck with your extra-special boy! ... or boys!

Trey