Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 9/6/2008

Question
Our Granddaughter has been diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum.  Lately she has a fear of going somewhere in a car. Mostly going in a car is to be with others, at parties, at other peoples homes, the mall, all where other people are.  She knows when we get dressed that that means we will be going somewhere.  She is 2 years 10 months ago.  She has 60-70 words but does not say 'I want' type sentences.  My questions is:  What can we do to help her overcome this fear?

Answer
Hi Donald,

To some extent, the development of irrational fears is normal for children in the 3-4 year old age range. I'm sure you know of children who fear(ed) the vacuum cleaner, animals or strangers, or the dark. As they get bigger and more capable, most of these fears recede or vanish. Making a big deal of them only reinforces them as attention-getting tools.

However, she has a true deficit in dealing with other people. To some extent, her fear makes sense. I suspect she realizes there are things going on (socially) that she does not understand. People expect her to react like any other almost three year old and she cannot. She already knows she's different.

To help her keep this fear in perspective she needs you to provide a buffer for her in public. I'm not saying to "shelter" her from human contact. But, I do think that you should coach people, beforehand, to give her some space. Most people come on too strong for autistic children trying to touch them, get them to smile, talk or perform. "Normal" three-year-olds love to be the center of attention, autistic kids do not, particularly among strangers.

Try to break the association between getting dressed up and getting in the car. Dress up for no reason and don't leave home. Have a tea party with the teddy bears or read a book together. Do this several times. When that becomes comfortable, take a ride in the car but don't get out. Just drive around and go back home. Again, repeat until she is comfortable. Finally, get dressed, get in the car and go to a familiar place with people who understand her special needs. Don't stay long, do something she likes while there. Keep moving farther into the world of new people one little step at a time.

I know this seems like a lot of work. But, getting her over this now is well worth it. As she gets older and her language skills increase, she can start to deal with emotional issues by talking about it. For now, she's too young to do that, even if she were not autistic.

She should be receiving speech and occupational therapy from her school district, already. She is entitled to free early intervention services through the school system. Her therapists should be a good resource of ideas to help her progress, socially.

Check out "social stories" by doing an Internet search with those words. Basically, it involves simple books that describe, in words and pictures, a specific social situation like a trip to the grocery store. Usually, the child's own name is used for the main character. They give the child a script to draw upon when faced with that particular situation. You should know that autistic people do not generalize well. That means that she may not transfer learning from one situation to another. As she gets older, she will develop a repertoire of experience to draw upon so she will be better able to behave appropriately in more situations.

Best wishes,
Catherine