Expert: Trey McGowan - 9/16/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hello
I am writing to you in respect of both my son and myself. My 17 year old son Jonah has only just been diagnosed (in August) with PDD-NOS and ADHD. Jonah has been very badly let down. The health professionals have never taken my concerns seriously in respect of my son and Jonah's Head of School tried to blame me saying I was the root cause of my son's problems. This was unprofessional and uncaring and so much negligence has occurred. I am not sure if my son will be able to hold a job down because of his difficulties. He is only interested in skateboarding, but here in the UK there are not many outlets for this sport. My son has been stopped so many times by the police because one is not allowed to skate on the pavements in towns. Skateboarders have to skate in specially designated areas made for them such as skate parks.
I am completely worn out from all the years spent trying to gain recognition of my son's needs. I don't know how to make things better for myself. To make matters worse, I think that I too may have an Autism Spectrum Disorder which has not been diagnosed to date.
I have always been in my own world. My mother was always extremely concerned about my development and felt that there was something amiss with me. She also tried to gain help and understanding from professionals, but each time she did so, they said that she was worrying for no reason. I have never liked being held or touched. It is extremely uncomfortable for me. This has made relationships very very difficult for me. I find sound very disturbing - eg walking along the road with traffic whizzing by. It sounds like a record player on the highest volume. I have never been able to cope with the noise of the hoover. I found school intensely difficult because I just wanted to be by myself, however I did not convey this to anyone at the time. I did not want to be with my peers. I stayed in my bedroom at home and did not want to go out at all. I find it very difficult to follow instructions (like my son) and my empathy is variable in that I either am very empathetic or not at all. I take things very literally and am pedantic. When I was a teenager I was teased for the clothes I wore and that I seemed prissy. Even now, I don't mind wearing the same clothes day in day out without a change and believe that most women want to wear something new every day. I like the routine of the same clothes. Please can you help me because I would like to know if I have something wrong with me? Am I also on the autistic spectrum?
My mother has only just conveyed her worries to me in respect of my development and I am 46! I feel as if I would have like to have known sooner than this. I don't want to go out of the house now. I am finding things very difficult. Please can you very kindly advise. Thank you.

Kind regards,

Miranda
After

ANSWER: Hi there, Miranda!

As I have said in the past, I am not a doctor. You ask me to advise, and the best advice I have for you is to find someone who can appropriately do an assessment and can work on helping you for your own particular difficulties. I, myself, can not even attempt to guess whether you are on the spectrum, and will not attempt to do so; that is something that can be all too easily misconstrued as an expert opinion, and while I may be an expert here on the board, I am certainly not an expert in the realm of 'legality'.

While I understand that you have had a difficult time with the health profession, there are those out there who deal specifically with the spectrum, and can no doubt help yourself and your son with the issues that you have both been having. In addition, I would strongly suggest looking through them for a therapist that will be able to help you with your own difficulties, because ASD or otherwise, it seems apparent to me that the support system is something you most definitely could use. I'm not certain where you are in the UK to be able to look up any local chapters, but if you let me know, I might be able to find a place or two. Barring that, plug your general location and 'autism support' into Google and see if you can get any hits.

I wish I could give a personal judgment call on this, but because of the potential legality of the situation, all I can offer is the above suggestion: find an expert who can give a proper diagnosis. Besides, by finding that expert, you can potentially find some aid for your son, as well.

Comments, questions, feedback, follow-ups, and the like are always welcome!

Trey

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello Trey
thank you very much for answering so quickly.I live in the county of Hertfordshire in the UK.
I have an appointment with a psychologist in a few weeks time but have no idea if they are a specialist in ASD's.
I have learned (from my experience) that professionals seem to have a lot of difficulties getting to the root of the difficulty. This happened with my son (it took 14 years), and it also seems to be the case with myself. Earlier this year I saw a psychologist who could not work me out. She thought I was highly troubled, but I am not. At the time when I saw the psychologist I had lost someone dear to me (which I did not mention to her) which caused me to shed a lot of tears and she misconstrued this as being troubled.
I am of the opinion that all my sensory difficulties and developmental problems have always made every day life very difficult for me. I think these problems have caused my depression.
I am very much hoping that I can see a specialist who is in the business of diagnosing adults with ASD's because from all I have heard, it is hard to diagnose adults. I need to get to the bottom of my difficulties as I am sure you can understand.

With best wishes,
Miranda


Answer
Hello there again, Miranda!

A quick throw of words into Google found me this page:
http://www.hertsdirect.org/comdirectory/comvol/heal2y/sgheal3y/heaautism4y/
I think that will be of a *great* deal of help. At least, I would like to hope it will be. If nothing else, it's full of possibilities that should give you, at least, a direction to start looking in.

I wish you all the best in finding some relief for yourself and your child. If you are genuinely worried (as you seem to be!) about the possibility of yourself having autism, I suggest that you check with the locations in that link and see if any of them have an idea of psychologists who deal with Adult Autism and diagnosis.

As always, questions, comments, follow ups, whichever the way, are welcome!

Trey