Expert: James Michael Roan - 9/19/2008

Question
I'm 21 years old and have Asperger's yet I'm still like daddy's little boy.  I guess its kind of embarrassing when it comes down to it but as of right now, I'm emotionally dependent on him but don't want to be.  I guess it's because I was abused by my mother before she died in 2004 and he stepped up and treats me like a king and I wasn't really used to that.  It's cool that we've got a good relationship and all but he thinks he's my only social contact (yeah, its apparently gotten that bad)  even though I do talk with others just not as much as him.  If I wasn't emotionally dependent on my dad, I could probably even be homeless (even though that wouldn't be a good thing) and not give a damn.  Yet, here I am without a job, living at home, at 21. He's suggested a job and I've applied at McDonalds but I'm not so sure how that'll go because I'm a writer at heart but that  doesn't bring in much money.  He's also suggested I be more social so I'll have more people to turn to and I'm thinking of joining a running (something else I love and am good at) and writers club.  Do you have any other advice cause other than this, I'm totally clueless.

Answer
Hi Patrick;

My son is 18 and he will always be my little boy also! You are very lucky to have such a loving and caring father and the relationship that goes with that.

Clubs are a great way to develop social connections. They are like teams where people share a common interest and destiny. You are surrounded by like-minded individuals.

You are young and male. Your ability to plan and organize your life is not fully developed yet, and won't be until your late 20's. Start with your running and writing interests and the rest will come. I used to write articles for a magazine and the editor reminded me that writing is  learned and not an innate skill. He used to say it takes hard work and discipline and more hard work.

Good luck! If I can help you in any other way, please let me know.

Kind regards,
James