Expert: Paul Johnson - 9/30/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hi my name is Rachel I am 17 yrs old and i was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome.. but i have another problem too and need your advice.. Well Sometimes i act like a baby cus it helps me feel better no one knows i do this and when i act like a baby i have my baby blanket with me and i suck my thumb..And I also have a bedwetting problem that i haven't gotten over with yet so i have to wear pull up diapers and i like to wear them cus they make me feel like a baby and safe too. But i also go see a therapist a male one and i always want to act like a baby in front of him and done so only a teeny bit not very noticeable but i always get a very strong urge to act like a baby infront of him . And i want to know if i should do it or not? He doesn't know about me wantings to be a baby again. Should i tell him that? Would it be okay to act like a baby infront of him. Well i am scared to do this..:(( But i alway feel better when i'm a baby and safe.
Is this normal with people like me who have aspergers syndrome? My mom says i act immature alot but she doesnt know about me wanting to be a litttle baby..
Welll byee

ANSWER: Hey Rachel,

Thank you for yourt important question. The urge to act as a baby and Asperger's Syndrome is exclusive of one another. The desire to act like a baby is called regression. Usually a child regresses due to trauma and causes them security through their distress. You will simply need to express to your therapist that when you do not feel secure that you have the powerful desire to regress. You also need to work on your self image because being so concerned about what other epople think should not dictate to you what you do in your life. It would be in your best interest to discover what trauma occured in your past that is manefested by your regression. Your therapist will be of assistance once he knows why you regress.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you you made me feel better! But I'm sorry when you wrote that aspergers syndrome and the urge to act like a baby is exclusive to one another. i'm sorry but i don't know what that means.
thanks for the nice reply..it really helped me alot!

ANSWER: Hey Rachel,

Your follow up question is a fair one. I am trying to convey to you that A.S. and acting like a baby are two very different things which eminate from different needs, seeking different reactions from people.

Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological condition where your basic instincts are to pull within. The word Autism is dervied from auto or alone. As such your social relations will be impaired because you are not as concerned by what others will think or are affected by your behaviors.

Acting like a baby is out of the developmental norm for a teenager. As such it speaks of needs for security and nurturing. Acting like a baby is your way of saying your basic needs of trust and bonding to adults are currently unresolved.

I will say that people on the Autism Spectrum of Disorders have difficulties in being able to communicating our needs since we do not expect to interelate with others, and when we have to, we struggle with it. You struggle at being able to communicate to adults and authority figures that you have a need to be protected and nurtured. This is exactly what you tell you therapist-"I struggle to let adults know I need to feel safe". Your therapist will understand this and be able to respond to you with helpful ideas and techniques to get your needs met INTERDEPENDENT of others.

I hope this is alot more clear to you and allow you to get your needs met. Let me know if I am still not understanding, because I too struggle.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Sorry again..What does interelate with others mean? So is what you are saying kind of like I have trouble talking to adults and letting them know what I need? (mostly my parents) And since I don't feel safe the asperger syndrome part has trouble telling people that I need to feel safe and I act like a baby? Sorry if I'm bothering you. I'm trying to understand all of this. =) Do you think the reason why I want to act like a baby infront of my therapist is because I have trouble letting him know that I need to feel safe?
And one other question..When i tell my therapist about me wanting to be a baby should i tell him about my bedwetting and that I like to wear diapers cus they make me feel safe like a baby? That is kind of embarrasing for me to talk about. Because I looked up acting like a baby on the internet and wearing diapers And i was very depressed and upset cus what they were saying which is a (fetish) and what i am dealing with are VERY 2 different things. And I don't want him to get the wrong idea about me wanting to be a baby and my bedwetting, and diapers..

Well thanks again for your reply!

Answer
Rachel,

I'm not sure what is the problem with me communicating with you.

The only thing you were to say to your therapist is that you are struggling in feeling safe. You have an unresloved need to feel nurtured and are regressing. This thing about you acting like a baby is only symbolic of your unmet needs. With adults it is important that you know you are struggling in feeling an equal to. And please keep your communication simple so they will respect you as an adult too.