Expert: Tim Runner - 9/11/2008

Question
My 3 year old autistic boy just started his early childhood class.  The first 3 days he went to school with no trouble but the 4th day he refused to go.  He kicked and tossed himself around and there was no way I could even force him into the carseat to go to school.  So the weekend passed and now today I tried to get him to go and I couldn't even get him dressed.  When I talk to the teacher she says to bring him kicking and screaming because he needs to be there.  Unfortunately, I cannot do this to him.  He is not ready for school.  He is 3.  My question is what can we do as an alternative while we wait for funding for intensive in home therapy(which I believe is what he really needs but of course can't afford it without state aid).  We live in a small town and the school contracts kids with disabilities out to other schools because they do not offer a program for them.  Is the school system responsible to help me find alternative choices for my very special son or am I on my own.  It could be something so simple as an afternoon class instead of morning-I don't know.  All I know is that I want what's best for my boy and I want options that will work with him.  He is a nonconformist and that is something we work around to make his quality of life better.  Can the school system also have his best interest in mind and work outside of the norm to help my child get the education he deserves?  If I am on my own, how can I get funding to educate my child?

Answer
Carol,

You are in a real bind. Your son has learned to have a fit to avoid going to school. You can ask the school district about what other classes are possible to see if they have one might work out better. You can keep him home but being in school can be very good for autistic students. The district does not have to provide you with alternatives. They are required to provide your son with an appropriate placement. As a parent, it is you job to get him to go. You may have to put up with the kicking and screaming for a while to teach him that he can't get out of doing something he does not want to do by having a fit. You might also want to observe him in the classroom to see if something is going on that makes him not want to go. I wouldn't be surprised if your son is also having fits when he doesn't want to do other things than school. This is why he needs to learn that having a fit will not work. When you get the intensive home therapy, this will be addressed.

Because of his young age, he does not have to go to school. You could wait a year and then have him attend. But early intervention is very important for autistic kids.

I wish you and your son the best,
Tim Runner, Education Advocate
You can learn more at my web site:
www.special-education-answers.com