Expert: Jene Aviram - 10/11/2009

Question
Hello,

I'm a little worried about my 14 month old son.  He is not gesturing to get things he needs and he has never waved bye-bye even after much prompting.  He babbles all the time, but doesn't seem to babble to communicate w/ us.  For example, he says mama and dada, but I just think it's random babbling.  He doesn't say it to us.  Also, he rarely answers to his name when we call it.  He seems hyper-focused on things and it's difficult to redirect his attention.  His eye-contact, ironically, is better with strangers and it is with my husband and me. When I take him shopping, the cashiers talk about what a "flirt" he is. However, when we hold him, he will not look at us.  I am a stay at home mom, and sometimes find it very difficult to play/interact w/ him because he will only look and the toys and not at me.

On the positive side, he will smile and laugh but only when he feels like it.  He does give high fives, claps his hands, and hug and kiss his teddy bears when we tell him to do so.  He LOVES other little kids, and our family pets.  

Our pediatrician does not seem to be concerned.  He said there is a wide range of normal, and he is not going to make a referral at this point b/c he said our son is doing many things "right".  He thinks I am overreacting.  Just wondering if there is enough here to be concerned or if I should give my son more time to develop.

Thanks,
Kay  

Answer
Hi Kay,

Your pediatrician is right that there is a wide range of normal, particularly at this age.  Some things you mention are extremely promising.  Most parents who's toddlers have autism notice that their child has NO interest in their peers, yet your son LOVES other kids.  This is really good news.

It's only because you mention that he gets really focused and it's hard to redirect his attention that I recommend you keep an eye on his development.  Your guy is really very young, so give it a few months and then see how he is doing.  The M-CHAT is designed for kids from 18 months old.  It's a few questions that tell you if you should be concerned.  You can find it here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-mchat.htm

Another article I recommend you read is called "How do you know if your child has autism?"  Although it's written for kids starting at 18 months old, it might give you an idea of what it looks like to be on the spectrum.  You can read it here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-howdoyouknow.htm

I know it's hard not to worry.  I must say I'm impressed with how proactive and aware you are.  What a great mom your little guy has.  Try to relax for the next few months (OK - I know that's impossible) but there is a good chance that in a few months you'll wonder why you ever worried.  If you're still concerned in a few months, do the M-CHAT and take it from there. I'll still be here if you have any questions at that point :-)

I wish you great success.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com