AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
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Question My son is 18 years old and he is highly functional with his Autism. He has no trouble learning but he does have trouble making friends and this has caused him to go into a depression. He wants to go away to college, he wants to get his drivers license and he also wants a girlfriend. He was in public school from age 5 up until age 13. He was always teased in school by his peers and when he reached high school, it only got worse. It was then that I decided to home school him. I am not sure what to do next. The homeschooling worked out because he graduates on Dec.19,2009. I'm not sure about him going off to college because he has never lived on his own before. Do you know of where we can get help for him in making these choices?
Answer Hi Allison,
We all want our children to grow up and live a "normal" life. Living on his own is part of that. Going away to college can be a great transition into independent adult living. How well this goes depends on where he chooses to go to school, how prepared he is to care for himself, etc.
At home, he should be learning self-care skills such as how to do his laundry, how to fix a simple meal, how to sew on a button, and organizational skills like keeping track of appointments and assignments. By all means, he should be learning to drive. (this can take longer for an autistic person as they may have the perception of the car as an extension of the body)
Start now to research and visit colleges. Make contact with the department responsible for helping students with disabilities. To qualify for their assistance, he will need a "current" diagnosis meaning one less than three years old. So make a visit to his doctor or whoever can give you this paperwork. Also, I recommend he do a preparation course before taking the SAT. He is likely unaccustomed to standardized testing. He can get some accommodations on this test, like a quiet room, but he has to apply in advance with all the right paperwork. Try not to do all this for him. He will have to advocate for himself at college, he may as well start now.
Socially speaking, he may find more students like himself at college than he ever met in public school. This is particularly true if he is a musician, artist or into computers and math. He should look for a school that does not have a big "party" culture but is more into serious learning. He should pursue his passion, as much as possible. Trying to make a lawyer out of a musician is fruitless.
Recommended reading: “Developing Talents: Careers for Individuals with Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism” by Temple Grandin, Kate Duffy, and Tony Attwood
