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Autism - Autism in toddlers
Expert: James Michael Roan - 11/1/2009
Question
Dear Dr Roan
My problem is that I think our 3 y/o grandson is starting to demonstrate symptoms of Aspergers syndrom. He is ritualistic to extreem. For example he will get a few toy cars and persistantly line them up in a perfect pattern. He is extreemly fussy about his food and he will only eat 4 or 5 things. If his daily routine is altered he will have a "meltdown" and just cry and repeat certin words over and over again. For example his parents left us to babysit him last winter and they went out. He was so outraged that he could not relax, play, or do anything he just sobbed and kept repeating "Mommy and Daddy, go boating". At first we tried to say that they were out at a party but this was impossible for him to try and grasp so we went along with is and said "it's OK they will be home soon". This did not help and when his mother got home she grabbed him away and seemed to go through a ritual with him. This eventually helped him and he finally went to sleep. His vocalizations seem to be without incantations and although he talks very well and he has a wonderful vocabularly he has no vocal expression it is high pitched and the same (like a robot). He is smart and he can think through words for example he was looking closly at our Newfoundland and he said "Your dog is big; .... no he is huge".
I do not see the baby and his family very often because they live on the west coast and we live in the south. The child's mother does not have a good relationship with her own family nor with us. She is sensitive and ready to take everything we say the wrong way. (She is also due to deliver baby soon.) My husband and I do not know how to approach this issue with our son and his wife. The parents are in deep denial over these issues and we (grandparents) and the child's aunts are very distressed about the situation. I feel obligated to tell the parents about our fears and encourage them to get this child some help. Earily intervention is extreemly importent. I do not believe that the parents are unawear that there is something wrong but I know they will be very angry with us when we mention it to them.
Is there somewhere we can get help with this task and help us through the denial process. I do not want to loose touch with them because they are angry with us but I believe my obligations to the child supersede my fears.
Thank you for any help you can give us
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Answer
Hi Sally;
Please keep in mind that at no time am I diagnosing anything nor am I ruling out any potential condition, just providing guidance and direction.
This a very common problem: denial. Your observations are very astute. School districts, through their special education department, are responsible for assessing a child 0-21 who is suspected of having a disability and responsible for services if they quality. Anyone can make the referral. If he does have Asperger's syndrome (AS) it is my experience that he will have a very hard and painful time in the public education for several years to come. Even if they reject services, at least the assessment will provide information for the parents to consider for their son. Grandparenting can be VERY difficult. I understand your distress.
I am happy to help you through this anyway I can.
Kind regards,
James
Disclaimer:
While James Michael Roan has attempted to make the information on this web site as accurate as possible, the information is provided in good faith without any express or implied warranty. The purpose of this web site is to provide information to families with children, teens, and adults with an autism spectrum disorder or other developmental delay. James Michael Roan does not prefer any one organization to another, and it is not responsible for the information listed on an organization's web site, or any disseminated information either verbal or written. Please be advised we are not giving medical advice and that circumstances can dictate different treatments. If these issues affect you or your loved ones you should seek professional advice. This site is operated for informational purposes only. At no time will James Michael Roan attempt to diagnose or dismiss a potential diagnosis over the Internet. We hope that you find our resources useful.
Bio
James Roan is a certified school psychologist who has been consulting in the areas of autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, and learning difficulties in the United States and in Ireland for over ten years (http://www.jamesroan.com). James earned his M.Ed. in School Psychology and M. Ed. in Adult Education and receives ongoing post graduate training in autism at the University of Washington’s Autism Center. James Roan has traveled to Galway, Limerick, Mayo, Clare, Dublin, Cork, Waterford, and other cities and counties across Ireland assessing children and adults, and consulting with solicitors (lawyers) in defense of children with disabilities. James Roan was the consulting assessment professional responsible for many of the autism and AD/HD screening tools and other content for Access Special Needs.Com. James Roan consulted with the graduate department of the Waterford Institute of Technology in Waterford Ireland in the development of their graduate program for the certification of private autism tutors. James has conducted formal assessments of students in the Autism Unit in the Claddagh National School in County Galway Ireland.
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