Expert: Jene Aviram - 2/24/2009

Question
my daughter has always been "different" she needed speech therapy has been bullied a lot.She was a very placid baby but stopped liking cudddles or any affection about the age of pre school. I had to spend a lot of time with her teaching her the importance of having eye contact. has never kept a friend for long Is very difficult to get along with. Is attracted to 'bad' people and always ends up getting hurt.  She never seems to 'get it'when she has made a mistake. She does not appear to like being nice to people. Especcially those that care. If I am firm with her she thinks I am yelling at her. I have asked her to move out and now it seems she just cant cope with life. Every thing seems to be going down hill for her. When she gets stressed she swears and yells ridiulously. She can not follow complex directions. She can not follow road directions and is much better if I write things down. When she is stressed like she is at the monent she responds better to a checklist of things she needs to do. She seems terrified of moving out but when I question her says she realises she needs to. Do oyu think she has  a form of autism

Answer
Hi Cheryl,

It takes a thorough evaluation to diagnose someone on the autism spectrum, particularly at the age of 21.  I can say by your short description that she exhibits many of the characteristics.  She also seems to respond well to the strategies that people on the spectrum appreciate, such as written lists.  One thing is for sure, if she is on the spectrum, she is very high functioning and most likely has Aspergers.  I know her behavior might be frustrating at times but people on the spectrum are doing their absolute best with the tools they have.  Your daughter is in great need of support and guidance.  I would make sure she goes to a Psychologist.  Make sure she sees one that is very familiar with autism.  If she does indeed get a diagnosis, she will receive support from the Government such as assistance and a job coach.  With some guidance, you'll be amazed how far your daughter will go.  She will most likely be put in touch with others that share her frustrations.  Being with like-minded people will increase her self esteem and happiness.  Your daughter is amazing to have come this far without any support through her schooling.  People with Aspergers often don't express their love and affection in the same way "typical" people do.  It might not always be apparent but she loves you.  And she needs you.  Please make sure she goes to Psychologist that deals with autism as soon as possible.  Expecting her to go into the job force without supports she needs will be setting her up for failure.

I hope this has been helpful.
Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com