Expert: Jene Aviram - 2/5/2009

Question
QUESTION: My 9and 1/2 year old son is shy in school. He is only fond of playing and cycling. He does play with many friends in our neighbourhood but teaches says he is shy and withdrawn in class. His handwriting is very poor. His academic performance is poor.I got his IQ checked his performance IQ is 118 and reading and perception was 97.
The Occupational therapist says he has low muscle tone sepcially in shoulders
We are starting OT for him.
Is my son autistic?
How can I help my child ?

ANSWER: Hello Faby,

I can see that you are very concerned about your son.  Nothing that you've said stands out as a red flag that shouts autism.  Since his fine and gross motor skills are delayed, it's really great that you're starting occupational therapy.  One of the biggest hallmarks of autism are difficulties in social situations, particularly at 9 years old.  Your son is shy in school yet he does have lots of friends in the neighborhood.  Is he able to maintain a conversation?  Does he stay on topic?  Is he obsessed with different subjects?  Does he maintain eye contact?  If he's telling you something and you're not listening (or don't appear interested), is he able to pick up on that?  Does he realize that people might have a different perspective to him?  These type of concerns are typically associated with autism.  I would still recommend that you seek an evaluation.  This can be done with a developmental pediatrician or licensed psychologist.  If you're not sure who to contact, the school psychologist will be able to direct you to someone in your area.  A professional evaluation will help your son get any services or assistance he requires.  And most of all, it will give you peace of mind.

Thank you for writing to me.  I hope this has been helpful and please remember I'm here for any further questions.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Answering your questions
1. He does stay on topic
2. He is obsessed with playing only, anything, playstation, outdoor, cards anything other than studies
3. he maintains eye cobtact only with people close to him
4. He stays on the topic
5.if i dont listen with attention he shuts up and withdraws
6. I dont know the answer to this and this is frightening me. In school because of his low performance I think he is aware about other peoples perspective of him which is attacking his self condidence
But he still refuses any help by private tutor or me and does not study
I just dont know what to do?
In our neighbourhood I dont think anybody has any different perspective of my son at least i am not aware of it
Con u give me some insight on how to improve his image in school
faby

Answer
Hi Faby,

The good news is that your answers are NOT typical of a child with autism.  From your description, it appears that your son has the most difficult time in school.  Even 9 year olds can be mean - often without knowing the effect they're causing.  There could be a peer in his class or school who is contributing to his lack of confidence.  If I were in your shoes, the first thing I would do is request a meeting with the school psychologist and your son's teacher.  Explain your concerns to them.  They are able to see more of what is going on in school and can be of great help.  You always have the option of seeking a developmental pediatrician or getting an evaluation from a child psychologist.  If your son requires extra services, they'll be sure to let you know.  It's just not worth being worried.  Rather go to a professional and set your mind at ease.  Your son is lucky to have such a wonderful caring mom by his side.  

PS. Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback on the last message :-)

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com