Expert: Jene Aviram - 3/17/2009

Question
I have a 3.5 year old son who I suspect may be autistic.  But, I have no idea where to go from here or if I am even on the right track.  He is a very loveable child and likes to cuddle with me.  But, his speech is so bad that almost no one in the family can understand him.  He also has NO control over his emotions.  He cries and screams most of the day.  Most of the time I cannot even figure out why he is crying.  It seems as though he doesn't know how to express himself so he reverts to the screaming and crying.  I have 3 other children and they get really frustrated with him because of the uncontrollable "emotion".  Sometimes he will go off to his room and go into his own little world.  I am to the point where I don't know what to do.  And, if I even mention that I believe there is a problem my husband does not want to hear it.  When our 5 yo son was diagnosed with ADHD it took my husband several months before he would accept it or even allow me to seek further medical help for him. My husband is of the belief that there is nothing wrong with his children and that I am too lax in discipline. It seems to me that my son does not understand and cannot control his actions/emotions.  But, is this autism or something else?  I am so confused right now.  I want to get him help if he needs it.  Am I reading too much into the way he is?  Is this normal behavior?

Answer
Hi Robin,

Let me begin by saying this is NOT your fault.  And it certainly doesn't sound like a discipline issue!
You mentioned that your son's speech is difficult to understand.  Can you imagine how frustrating that is for him?  I know I would probably "fly off the handle" as well if people didn't understand what I was trying to say.

You give very little information about his character to define if he has autism.  Not being able to control emotions, or calm oneself is often related to sensory issues.  You'll be amazed how much an OT can help with this.  It also sounds like speech therapy is essential for your son.  This article might help you.  It's called "How do you know if your child has autism?"  You can download it here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-howdoyouknow.htm

I would get an evaluation as soon as possible.  Please don't delay.  If your son qualifies for services, and I'm sure that it will, you'll find it improves his life greatly.  And yours too!  I'm sure that your days can be very stressful - 4 kids in the house, 1 with ADHD and another that concerns you greatly.  You get a medal in my book for keeping it together!

If you're not sure where to get an evaluation, go to this link and select your state, then scroll down and call the local offices to ask for help in getting an evaluation ASAP.

http://www.nichcy.org/Pages/StateSpecificInfo.aspx

I hope this has been of some help.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com