Expert: James Michael Roan - 3/7/2009

Question
I have a 16 1/2 year old son who was diagnosed with Asperger's and Tourette's syndromes when he was in elementary school.  More often than not while raising him, including dealing with the school district, has almost been a full time job that I am very passionate about. My son has come a long way (I see similarities with other parents of younger children who have posted questions) and I am very proud of him.  He is well supported with a psychiatrist, spec ed services, and a well-trained therapist.  Now he is at an age where determining if the behavior is a result of being a teenager or a condition is so difficult.  My son is having social difficulties (he wants to be out with friends, and usually is not invited), being respectful of me (not interrupting, arguing, swearing), most of all not to threaten to hit me when he was very angry.

I need to know how to help him learn what I had always taught.  Violence is not the solution.  That I won't tolerate living in a home with threats and/or violence.  

Thank you in advance.
Theresa

Answer
HI Theresa;

This a good but difficult question to answer. This is a common situation between teen aged boys and their mother. They are inexperienced in handling the effects of testosterone on behavior. You can start by helping him to become aware of his arousal level and identify a point where he can exercise some self-control and take evasive action and remove himself from risk of escalation to a point where he is no longer able to take control his emotions or behavior.

One program we use for young children is "How does your Engine Run?" You can find out more about it here: http://www.alertprogram.com/

Tony Attwood has a DVD for CBT techniques for dealing with anger that are very effective.

Kind regards,
James








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Bio

James Roan is a certified school psychologist who has been consulting in the areas of autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, and learning difficulties in the United States and in Ireland for over ten years (http://www.jamesroan.com). James earned his M.Ed. in School Psychology and M. Ed. in Adult Education and receives ongoing post graduate training in autism at the University of Washington’s Autism Center. James Roan has traveled to Galway, Limerick, Mayo, Clare, Dublin, Cork, Waterford, and other cities and counties across Ireland assessing children and adults, and consulting with solicitors (lawyers) in defense of children with disabilities. James Roan was the consulting psychologist responsible for many of the autism and AD/HD screening tools and other content for Access Special Needs.Com. James Roan consulted with the graduate department of the Waterford Institute of Technology in Waterford Ireland in the development of their graduate program for the certification of private autism tutors. James has conducted formal assessments of students in the Autism Unit in the Claddagh National School in County Galway Ireland.