Expert: Jene Aviram - 3/25/2009

Question
My grandson will be 2 years old in a month or so. He does not make any eye contact with me , he appears to be a very bright child, but there is just something about him that worries me?!?! Not having the eye contact is one of my worries. Plus his eating habits are horrible, some days he don't eat at all, and most days it is very scarce eating. Drinks a LOT of juice and now has developed diariah to one of his daily habits. His pediatricain tells mom that he is normal and that he will eat when he gets hungry. I've raised 3 children and 3 God daughters and been around children all my life... there is just a lot of what I think are abnormalicies here. Oh , his verbal skills are limited as well , although I've heard him say 3 word sentences now and then but most of the time its screaming and yelling. Please give me some input on this matter.
Thank you!

Answer
Hi Lisa,

You would be amazed how many Grandma's are the first to notice that something is not right with their grandchild.  Lack of eye contact in a two year old is definitely a concern.  If his verbal skills are limited, he is bound to scream and yell frequently since he has no way of expressing himself.  It's frustrating when you can't get your message across.

I'd like to suggest that you read this article called "How do you know if your child has autism?"  I think it will give you a good idea about your grandchild.  You can find it here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-howdoyouknow.htm

Some other things to take note of are:
Does your grandson point things out to his parents or you?
Does he bring you things to show you?
Is he interested in your reactions to things?
If you point at something behind him and gasp, does he turn around to see what got your interest?
Is he able to calm himself down?
Is he bothered by certain textures?
Does he seek approval from you and his parents?
Can he follow two step commands?  Example "Find your shoes and bring them here"
Does he play appropriately with toys?

Approaching the parents is always a difficult and sensitive matter.  Nobody likes to hear that something is wrong with their child.  If the article rings true for your grandchild, you might show it to them and tell them it reminds you of your grandson and you're concerned.  You might casually mention that your instinct and experience has you concerned because he is such a bright child and perhaps he just needs a little help.  The great thing in your favor is that your grandson is under three.  He qualifies for Early Intervention which is covered by your state.  The parents can ask their pediatrician who to contact for early intervention.  Your grandson might be fine but if he needs help, the sooner the better.  Early intervention is key for fast progress.

Lisa, you are a wonderful caring grandmother.  Please be very delicate when talking to the parents.  If their child does qualify for services, they're going to need your strength and support.

I hope this has been of some help.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com