Expert: Paul Johnson - 4/17/2009

Question
I have recently been considering the possibility that I may have a mild form of autism.  I did some reading on the net about Asperser’s and high-functioning autism and while I can't say that I identify with many of the more severe symptoms, the subject has been on my mind.

I'm 25 and of reasonable intelligence.  I was considered to be very bright until I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 14; medication has since somewhat slowed me down mentally.

I have always been considered shy.  I find parties or large groups where I know few people very hard to deal with.   I have improved a little, at least outwardly, in recent years and with effort, but when I was younger I found it excruciating having to make small talk with strangers.  Unfortunately my medication doesn't allow me the advantage of a little Dutch courage either.  When I am on my own in a large group with no-one to talk to, I find my leg shaking nervously and I need to have something in my hands such as a glass so I can at least seem interested in that.

Even at 25, with a steady job, I find it hard to make eye contact with those I'm not very familiar with.  I find I have to drag my eyes up to theirs.  I tend to look down even with those I know well - it's just more comfortable that way. This was always put down to my obvious shyness as a child but it is still a point of contention between me and my mother if I don't look guests properly in the eyes, even though I do make a conscious effort.  I understand that it seems rude and even immature but I have not told her that it can seem physically difficult at times to force eye contact with those unfamiliar to me.

I am, and have always been, very emotionally detached from others.  Again, this was explained away by the fact that my parents broke up when I was a baby (a rare occurrence 25 years ago in Ireland, so I was the only child in school with estranged parents).  Although I have learnt to fake the emotions over time, I'm not naturally sympathetic and find myself searching for the seemingly innate empathy for others.

As I find social situations difficult, I don’t really have any proper friends, and I can’t seem to hold on to friendships that I do form. Yet this isn’t really a situation that bothers me personally.  It is more the fact that I’m not bothered by being friendless that worries me – surely I should want and even need social contact.  

I have always been a very clumsy, tripping and dropping things.  As a child this was something I was often scolded for.  I still frequently trip and don’t have very good hand-eye co-ordination.  

I understand that most of the possible symptoms can be explained away by my being shy, having low self-esteem etc, as they always have been in the past.  Points such as my frequent daydreams and clumsiness have been suggested to be a result of my epilepsy.  However, I am simply curious as to whether you think there is a possibility I may be on the autism spectrum – perhaps it is in fact the underlying cause of my epilepsy.

Many thanks.

Answer
Hey Sarah,

Thanks for your important question.

There is an association between seizure disorder, (what Epiliepsy is considered nowadays). Nobody know what this association is but occasionally the two are diagnosed together. One however does not cause the other.

I think some of your symptoms sound like what one would expect from a person on the spectrum. It would be good to have a diagnosis by a clinician that is experienced with Autism.

You have an amazing amount of self knowledge and it will be of assistance when it comes time to be assessed for Asperger's Syndrome.