Expert: Jene Aviram - 5/27/2009

Question
First,I want to say I have never heard of Austin until the last few weeks.My daughter is 22 months old.I feel stupid because I felt something was wrong with her and didn't seek help.My daughter only says I few things mamma dada and she says it to everyone.She doesn't look at people she doesn't know.She rolls her eyes almost in circles at people if she has to look at them.She rocks back and forth all the time and bangs her head of her bed and floor all the time.She can't focus on books and she gets excited when she is around children loves puppies and throlls fits because I can't understand her needs if she wants something.She hates to be held and snuggled every since she was a little baby.she babbles words I can't understand at all.I already have 3 children and noticed her development was off but I thought maybe because she was the baby.none of my other children have ever had these signs.My sister first brought this to my attention,then someone else and then my brother and a friend of mine.I just moved back to my home town so my family hasn't really been around here at all.So, for them to point this out upsets me because I have never heard of this before.

Answer
Jennifer,

The first thing you must do is stop blaming yourself.  This is NOT your fault.  Believe me, almost every parent says "I knew something was wrong but I didn't think that much of it".  You would be unique if you did not feel this way.  Mothers also blame themselves if their child has a developmental delay.  They think of all the things they did during their pregnancy.  They regret what they ate, what they thought, where they went.  It's normal to feel this way but it doesn't make sense.  YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.  You could not have noticed that something wasn't right with your daughter sooner because you were busy trying to cope with your life.  And like you've said, many times it is just a matter of maturity until behaviors correct themselves.  So as difficult as it is, stop being so hard on yourself.  You're a wonderful mom.  Let's focus on your daughter for a moment...

The behaviors you mention are somewhat concerning.  Lack of eye contact,lack of focus, rocking and frustration when she can't express herself and you don't understand what she wants are often found in children with autism.  I think it's important that you get an evaluation as soon as possible.  The good news is that this is usually covered 100% by the state.  And services are totally free if your daughter needs them.  Call your pediatrician ASAP and ask how you get hold of early intervention.  Another thing you can do is go to this website, put in your state and call some places to ask for guidance on who to contact for an evaluation.

http://www.nichcy.org/Pages/StateSpecificInfo.aspx

I'd like you to also read an article called "How do you know if your child has autism?"  Although your child is young, it might help you clarify some things.  You can find it at http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-howdoyouknow.htm
Another good article to read is called "If only I had known" and you can find it here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-wishiknew.htm
And another one that will lift your spirits is called "Forget the Diagnosis which you can find here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-theory.htm


Last but not least, your daughter is VERY young.  Whether she does or doesn't have autism, you will be AMAZED at the progress she makes when she gets some professional help.  She is still your little girl and nothing has to stand in her way of achieving great things.  It's a very overwhelming and worrying time for you right now, but you will see that as thing settle down, and you get some answers, and some help, life will become easier and less stressful.  The caring and love for your daughter shines through in your message.  Please don't doubt yourself.  The best thing you can do is love your child, stand by her side and get her the help she needs.  I can see that you're already doing all that and she is lucky to have you as her mom.

I wish you and your family great success,peace and happiness.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com