AboutPaul Johnson Expertise All questions regarding late diagnosis (Adults with Asperger's Or othe ASD's). Spirituality and ASD, Relationships, How our minds work,
Adolescent development with AS and Self Definition as an Autistic culture.
Experience Diagnosed with AS at age of 47, countless expereinces related to AS.
Journalist and highly self reflective. Two degrees in Psychology.
Conducting two Adult with Asperger's groups. Writer and lecturer in the area.
Organizations Toastmasters
Autism Society of Minnesota
Loft center for writers
Publications Double Dutch in the Nile Garden-Collection of poetry book 1996
Numerous articles
The Love Book-Unpublished
No Woman No Cry book regarding cultural aspects of grief-Unpublished
Education/Credentials High school diploma-Abraham Lincoln Brooklyn New York
Undergraduate City College of New York B.A. PSYCHOLOGY
Graduate school University of Minnesota M.A. Counseling Psychology
Awards and Honors Volunteer of the years-Mayors Award New York City 1980
Unsung hero in community-Minneapolis 2000
Community service award 2006.
Question QUESTION: I've just spent a couple of 24/7 days with my brother who is 58. I'm 60. He is now
retired from a good job where he worked with people and was an excellent problem
solver. However, he seems to needle me about anything I say that is not stated in
absolute terms. Anything that is not stated in literal terms he challenges. He has four
bad marriages behind him and has said he has never felt like he fit in. He was
occasionally socially inappropriate and actually served time as a sexual offender. That
would suggest to me that perhaps he doesn't understand boundaries (among other
things). On the other hand, he can be very appropriate and polite when with others. He
did poorly in school but is very intelligent. He I'm trying to figure out if it's just a
competitive thing between the two of us, a lack of respect, or if he actually has an
undiagnosed autism disorder. A teacher friend of mine said some of this behavior is
similar to what she encounters in the classroom with autistic kids. Are there good
sources where I might find out more about this if you think it should be explored.
ANSWER: Hey Dee,
Thank you for your probing and important question. Your curiosity is good to have. It shows that you are wanting to know your brother better and help him out. There are many websites like OASIS that can illuminate you about all things Autism and Asperger's.
Here is where the issue is; You are the one asking questions and wanting to know more about his disorder. I would feel more optomistic about his well being if HE was the one with the curiosity to figure out things like why he never fit in.
There are some characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome that I am reading regarding your brother. It sounds like he engages with people completely according to his judgement and needs. I hunch he does not take into consideration what the other person is feeling and needing. If this is true I wonder if he ls happy with this and blames other people when they are not happy in relationships. This could be his pattern leaving other to seek information. You fit in this pattern because you are the one who is asking about what is wrong; with the possibility with thinking you might be part of the "problem".
I think it would worthwhile to pursue a diagnosis of AS. But unless he sees the need to investigate his behaviors, the diagnosis will be worthless. It is up to your brother to be motivated for change.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: He and I had a very long talk last night (2 hours) about all of this after my email to you. He is curious.
I understand the issue of making sure he is the one who is willing to engage. I believe he is now curious about this
topic that neither of us had ever considered before. The comment about engaging with others according to his
judgement and needs sounds right on. I believe he may be willing to seek an evaluation if he feels it would help to
explain to himself some of the problems he has encountered his whole life. Our current plan is for me to do some
initial research and mail it to him. Therefore, your recommendations of websites is very helpful.
He has a computer but currently does not have access to the internet. I don't know if it's an expense thing or if it
was because he could not do so while he was on probation and while he was in a treatment program for sexual
offenders. He is working very hard to try and do the right thing but he really has no friends to speak of at this point
and doesn't associate with any former friends who were also drug users. His social contacts are fairly limited to the
people he works with (during work hours only) and his family. He is not married and does not have a relationship
with a significant other.
Do you have suggestions on how to find a good evaluator and how to seek effective treatment as an adult?
thanks again!
Dee
Answer Hey Dee,
I see you have a follow up question. It is virtually the same as the first question. The best first step your brother can make if he is interested in investigating Asperger's Syndrome is to ask if there is an Autism society in your state and where it might be close to you. Many states has Autism societies where a quality evaluation can be given. Other than that it is up to you to ascertain maybe from a public reference librarian where adult assessments of Autism is given in your area.
