AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
NOTE:
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Question I have a 5 yr old child who has been diagnosed with high function autism. How can I teach her to share things like her toys with her friends, that when her friends come to our place, they will only play with her stuff and not take them away.I feel she fearsthat they will take away her things. Pls help.
Answer Hello,
Sharing does not come easily to autistic spectrum people. The root of this is that they have no understanding that other people have thoughts or feelings. This is called "theory of mind." People are things to them. They can learn this, but only by being directly taught.
You need to be very patient and not have too many other children over at once. Let her pick one toy she does NOT have to share for that play session. Tell her that all the other toys are for everyone. (I'd take her very favorite things and put them away when other are over.)Tell the other children that today, she is keeping the doll, or whatever, to herself.
If she snatches a toy back from a playmate, intervene gently, "Remember, you agreed to share this toy, today." Don't be hesitant to give her a time out on a chair, if she throws a fit. Just a couple of minutes to calm down. Then, let her try again.
I do not recommend shouting at or spanking an autistic child. It is not a very effective technique. They don't react like other children by feeling guilty, they either become more angry or they withdraw and simply tune out.
Social skills training is very important and it takes many repetitions for her to learn a skill. She does not have the instincts to do it without thinking about it. She also will not generalize what she learns. For instance, sharing toys at home may be learned, but she will also have to learn to share them in the classroom and on the playground. Over time, she will memorize skills for more situations. New situations will always require new learning.
Most high-functioning autistic children are emotionally much younger than their age. She is probably functioning at about 2 years of age in that area. It's no wonder she won't share. As she gets older, her emotional age will advance but she is likely to stay about 3 years behind her peers.
Keep teaching her how to interact with the world. It works.
