AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
NOTE:
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Question QUESTION: I have a 5 yr old child who has been diagnosed with high function autism. How can I teach her to share things like her toys with her friends, that when her friends come to our place, they will only play with her stuff and not take them away.I feel she fearsthat they will take away her things. Pls help.
ANSWER: Hello,
Sharing does not come easily to autistic spectrum people. The root of this is that they have no understanding that other people have thoughts or feelings. This is called "theory of mind." People are things to them. They can learn this, but only by being directly taught.
You need to be very patient and not have too many other children over at once. Let her pick one toy she does NOT have to share for that play session. Tell her that all the other toys are for everyone. (I'd take her very favorite things and put them away when other are over.)Tell the other children that today, she is keeping the doll, or whatever, to herself.
If she snatches a toy back from a playmate, intervene gently, "Remember, you agreed to share this toy, today." Don't be hesitant to give her a time out on a chair, if she throws a fit. Just a couple of minutes to calm down. Then, let her try again.
I do not recommend shouting at or spanking an autistic child. It is not a very effective technique. They don't react like other children by feeling guilty, they either become more angry or they withdraw and simply tune out.
Social skills training is very important and it takes many repetitions for her to learn a skill. She does not have the instincts to do it without thinking about it. She also will not generalize what she learns. For instance, sharing toys at home may be learned, but she will also have to learn to share them in the classroom and on the playground. Over time, she will memorize skills for more situations. New situations will always require new learning.
Most high-functioning autistic children are emotionally much younger than their age. She is probably functioning at about 2 years of age in that area. It's no wonder she won't share. As she gets older, her emotional age will advance but she is likely to stay about 3 years behind her peers.
Keep teaching her how to interact with the world. It works.
Best wishes,
Catherine
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QUESTION: Dear Catherine,
First of all thank you so much for your reply. Regarding the idea of "Tell her that all the other toys are for everyone." or "If she snatches a toy back from a playmate, intervene gently, "Remember, you agreed to share this toy, today." Don't be hesitant to give her a time out on a chair, if she throws a fit. Just a couple of minutes to calm down. Then, let her try again", this has been tried and tested by me, and haven't been much successful, because even though I can get my child to understand this she seemes to keep it in mind for just a few minutes and then forgets it. My child gets more agitated about the time out issue, so I can't really do that. Are there any other ways to calm her down? At times I just make her sit on my lap and cuddle her and say something soothing, it works but not everytime.
Another thing I would like to ask is about the sensory diet for the children in the spectrum. My child is quite reluctant to do things. She loves scribbling and writing, she can write her alphabets, many words and numbers. She can also draw a few things but when I want to teach her to draw something, she gets angry even if I just pick up the pencil and try to write something. What should I do? Please help.
Thank you so much,
Regards,
GLT
Answer Hello again,
We all have to find our own way with our children, autistic or not. It sounds like you are experimenting and that is good. If holding works, by all means, use it. As I said, it takes MANY repetitions to get the social skills across. Most children do not keep instructions in mind for long and must be reminded. Autistic children hold on to instructions even less well.
I would say that her resistance to being taught something when she is busy with her crayons or pencil is quite normal for a child her age. Many children are very determined to be independent and feel that we are invading their territory if we try to guide their play.
If she is in school, let that be the "teaching" place. Ask her to tell you about what she is writing or drawing. The verbal skills practice is more important than her learning new letters or writing words, right now.
Some autistic children are sensitive to gluten which is in all products contain wheat, barley, rye or spelt. It will certainly do no harm to try a diet that eliminates gluten for a few weeks. Substitute rice-based items. You will have to read labels very carefully.
If you see no change in 3-5 weeks, it is probably not worth the effort.
There are many web sites that explain how to do special diets for autism. But, be cautious. Extremely large amounts of vitamin supplements can be dangerous.
