AboutJene Aviram Expertise How do you know if your child has autism? If you're concerned about your child's behavior and would like to know if they're symptoms of autism, I can help you. If you need behavior and parenting strategies, I have many suggestions and ideas to help you. I can also help you with questions on ABA therapy. I cannot answer biomedical questions.
Experience I am one of the co-founders of Natural Learning Concepts, a manufacturing company for autism and special education materials. I am an author and writer and my work on the autism spectrum is frequently published by many organizations and renowned magazines. My son has Aspergers and my nephew has autism.
Publications Autism/Aspergers Digest
Autism Society of America
Autism Today Issue
Spirit Magazine
The Autism Perspective Magazine
Yahoo News
Parenting Magazine
Education/Credentials My original background and education is computer network engineering. A turn of events led me to switch careers in early 2000 when my passion and driving force became helping people on the autism spectrum. I then co-founded a successful company that helps people on the autism spectrum every day.
Question My 3 1/2 year old grandson is displaying characteristics that are concerning me. He has always been very shy but no matter how often we are around him he never totally warms up to us. He will rarely respond or look at you when you call his name. Most times he will look out of the side of his eyes at you. He flaps his arms when he is excited and tends to repeat sentences over and over when he has something to say. His speech is slightly delayed and he repeats certain things over and over that are undecipherable. He eats very little and will not eat anything that is "wet" looking or feeling.Consequently he is very small for his age. He also does not like to get his hands dirty in any way and will not eat with silverware. He has never liked milk or ice cream or many of the foods kids usually crave. He eats no meats or potatoes in any form. During a picnic/ swimming outing with 13 other children aged 1-8 all the other children were interacting but him. He eventualy convinced his mother that he wanted to go inside and watch a video, which she allowed him to do. All the other children were having so much fun playing in the sand and water. They all cried when it was time to leave. His parents are very hovering types. Dad has a masters degree in elementary and secondary education. We havenot said anything to them as we felt his Dad would have studied this and recognize if anything were amiss. Subtle hints have been explained away as "he is tired, etc." Please advise if these characteristics are anything to be concerned about. If they are-please advise how to approach getting him proper evaluation.
Answer Hi Nan,
It always amazes me how Grandmas are often the first one's to pick up that something is not right. Even though Dad has a masters degree in elementary and secondary education, it's totally normal that he hasn't connected the gaps in his child's development with his knowledge. I can't begin to tell you how often I hear a teacher, Speech & Language Therapist, or someone else in the field exclaim "Of all people, I should have known!" They often feel guilty about it, and they shouldn't. It's all part of being a loving parent.
I do think that many of the behaviors you mentioned are very concerning, and although it's impossible to diagnose over the Internet with a paragraph of information, many of the behaviors you mentioned are also found in children with autism. If I were the Mom, I would get an evaluation done right away. However, nobody likes to hear that something could be wrong with their child and you are in a difficult predicament. Although it's not warranted, people often end up taking their anger and sadness out on the messenger, so I would be very careful in broaching this situation with the parents.
I think it would be a good idea for you to read this article called "How do I know if my child has autism?" If you find that you can relate to it, I would send it to your daughter and mention gently that you couldn't help thinking it reminded you so much of your grandson. Let her read it and if it rings true for her, she's likely to want to take action right away. You can find the article here http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-howdoyouknow.htm
The first thing she can do is call her pediatrician and tell them her concerns. She should ask for a referral for an evaluation with someone that's experienced in behavioral disorders such as autism, ADHD and sensory integration dysfunction. I'm not sure what state you're in but Child psychologists and Developmental Pediatricians are often the professional of choice.
Your children and grandchildren are lucky to have such a caring and warm grandma. Especially one that's so proactive in wanting to help. I wish you and your family great happiness and success.
