Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 7/19/2009

Question
Dear Dr. Herskowitz, My 4 year old son has been hitting for the last 2 months. He has PDD-NOS. I have tried positive reinforcement and this seems to be working a little, but the biggest problem I have is when I have to use the computer. He runs up to me and starts pounding on my arms and will not stop. I have to remove myself from the computer and only use it when he is not around or asleep. Can this be stopped? He also will push kids for no reason. Just walk up to them and push...not aggressively and he thinks it is the funniest thing...I would appreciate any guidance on the above. Regards, Liz

Answer
HI Elizabeth

It is not uncommon for children with PDD or autism to hit others. He is obviously getting something out of seeing the reaction that he gets from the person as well as the attention he gets for the behavior. What works the best for this problem is to ignore him when he hits another child and to lavish attention on the child that got hit. And I mean lavish. Give that child a special treat that your son would want. Kiss and hug the other child and say things like, "poor baby" to the other child. Really ignore your son. At first, the aggression may escalate as he tries to get a reaction from you or the teacher. But if you stay with it, it should get better. You can also put him in a time out while you lavish attention on the other child just as long as he is close enough to hear how much attention the other child is getting.

As far as when you are on the computer: he is either doing it because:
a. He wants your attention
b. The noise of the computer is bothering him
c. He wants to be on the computer

I am guessing it is "a."

If I am right, then you have two options:
You can lock your door and let him have a fit. Eventually, he will get over it. Or you can just use your computer when he is asleep or not in the house. We all have to pick our battles.

Let me know if this makes sense to you.