Expert: Jene Aviram - 8/12/2009

Question
I have a very funny feeling about my 6th grandchild and have had qualms about his behavior from the beginning.  He is the world's easiest tempered baby (4 mo. old), rarely cries (not even with shots), nothing ever, ever seems to bother him, and seems to be hitting the milestones he should in his own laid back way. But, he makes eye contact mostly from a distance and then rarely.  He will look at his mother when breast feeding, but will nearly break his neck to avoid looking at anyone else if they are up close.  I mean very purposeful behavior of turning his head, and if you move to get in the new line of vision, he will turn to the other side. Also, my son in law has started complaining about the fact that the baby will only look at his mom. He will laugh at himself in a mirror, though, which gives me hope. I know that it is too early to be concerned about autism, but I guess I am.  He is in day care and I know that since he is such an easy baby, he is probably not getting a whole lot of interaction which I think might be a critical issue here. I am a retired teacher and I am considering offering to become his new daycare.  Please tell me I am an extremely blessed, but over anxious grandma, so I can get some sleep tonight.

Answer
Let me ease your mind - Yes.  You are an extremely blessed over anxious Grandma.  So please get some sleep tonight :-)

Four months old is WAY too early to diagnose autism or see many markers.  However, funnily enough, many mothers of autism spectrum kids have commented that their babies NEVER looked at them when they breast fed - which is the exact opposite of what you said.

It's interesting that your grandchild will make eye contact from far away.  Babies this age don't have fully developed vision yet, so perhaps he is better able to focus this way.

I would suggest waiting a few months and see if his eye contact changes.  He should also start developing social interest and show interest in other people.  

I do find it unusual that he is so easy going.  And that he doesn't even cry with shots.  Something like that usually represents a sensory issue.  Don't panic here - that's something that can easily be worked on.

I always recommend that people trust their instinct. You're a Grandma.  Your daughter and son-in-law are new to this but you've seem a lot of kids grow up.  While I don't think there's cause for concern now, I do think you should keep an eye on it.  Give your grandson a few months to mature as the problems might fade away and you'll wonder why you were ever concerned.  But if there are still things that nag at you, keep a log and you can always check in with me again, or with any professional.  

You are obviously an incredible Grandma.  Your love and care for your family shines through.  How lucky they are to have you.
I hope this has been of some help.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com