Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 8/1/2009

Question
Dear Valerie,
My son is 4 y.o. and when he was 2 he was diagnosed as mild to moderate in the spectrum, I couldn't believe it because he did everything they tested him for up until he got tired and cranky, then he just wanted mommy and pretended nobody else was in the room with us.  He had a speech therapist up until last year (when her time was up she told me that Ernesto didn't talk because he "didn't need to talk") when he turned 3 and he qualified to go to pre-k, in there he also has one.  
Before the IEP, they told us he was going to school as "developmental delayed" not as autistic, now he will be going to pre-k again as he just turned 4.
Now, he is a very bright little one, doesn't speak as in having a conversation but we can understand what he wants when he wants it, even though i am concerned about him not being able to tell us what he did in school or so, he is starting to tell us that "Ernesto is sad" or "Ernesto is happy" or "Ernesto fell, ouch" things like that... every new word we celebrate loudly!
He still flaps his hands when he sees something exciting besides jumping up and down.
2 years ago he just stopped eating so, we stopped forcing him, from eating everything in sight when he was one, he just started eating pancakes, pasta, french fries and pizza plus snacks and 3 bottles of soy milk.  Now, he doesn't even eat that (except for pizza)... his diet consist in: soy milk, salt free crackers, whole grain goldfish, pringles, oatmeal cookies, honey graham crackers and sometimes wafers. that's it, nothing else. I do give him fresh squeezed fruit juices(I think if he doesn't eat them at least he can drink the fruit)
One of his teachers told me that after this coming school year he should be ready to go to a regular school, he is now in ECDC School in Asheboro, NC, a wonderful school where he has classmates of all kind (from DS to Autistic kids) along with kids with no special needs.
I have been crying these past days, I am trying for him to eat but he refuses, he cries, he pretends he is eating, I beg him I yell at him and nothing!
Same thing with the diapers issue, he calls for me "pee mama, pee!" I ran to him with the potty, he giggles and nothing, 2 minutes later he goes "uh oh" and there's the pee right in the floor.
Should I just let him be? With all of that I am confused, is he autistic or just a spoiled child?
I would glady appreciate your input and, I promise, I will do what you advice me to do.
Thanks in advance!!

Answer
Hi Letto

I am sorry you are going through all of this. The issues your son is having with the food is a sign of sensory disorder. Does he see an Occupational Therapist? There are wonderful ones that will work with you on the eating issues. Also, they can work on the potty training.Sensory issues are common with children on the spectrum.

Also, Ernesto refers to himself as "Ernesto." This is another characteristic of autism.

Early Intervention is the key to Ernesto becoming the best he can be, so don't let up!! We recommend 25 hrs a week of stimulation which can include therapy and educational activities. Don't let up-he needs a lot of help. But it is wonderful that he has come a long way already and qualifies for regular education. Keep it up!!