Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 8/28/2009

Question
Hi, my 4 year old grandson has autism. He doesn't really talk, just hums and runs in circles alot. When he gets mad he always bangs his head on floor, wall whatever he is close to. Can you please tell me how to stop him from doing this, im so afraid he is going to hurt himself. Thanks

Answer
Hi Teresa,

Headbanging like your grandson is doing is a way to express frustration. He has no language skills to accomplish this.

It is part of autism to have no idea that others have thoughts and feelings. His own emotions are a mystery to him. Direct teaching is needed. When he's happy, talk about how his body feels. Share in "happy" with a big smile, clap your hands, etc. When he is sad, talk about the heavy feeling, join him in a sad expression. Keep it simple, the emotional range for autistic people is different. Emotions seem sudden, overwhelming and frightening to them. They don't notice the transition from one feeling to another. This has to be taught.

When our daughter was two years old, she would throw terrific tantrums. I found that taking her to the mirror and letting her see her angry facial expression,"Look, Laura is mad!" and explaining to her that she was feeling "mad" helped her to identify the build up of frustration before it spilled over. For a while, she would even run to the mirror to check what she was feeling!

Try to redirect him by saying, "use your words." Then, model what that sounds like. Use his name. "Jimmy is so mad! He wants to tell Grandma he is mad." You can even designate somewhere in your home as the "mad place" where he can go to blow off steam. Choose a sofa or some big, soft chair and let him pound on it, bounce his head off of it, etc.

Also, check into "social stories." These are simple little books you can make or purchase. They take a specific situation and use the child's own name to teach social skills. If you can draw a stick figure, you can make one. Go go <http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/ss0002.html> This web page has a sample of a social story. Explore this site for more excellent stories you can adapt to your grandson's needs.

Finally, I hope he is enrolled in an early intervention program through his school district. He is entitled to FREE speech and occupational therapy to help him succeed in school and life. If this has not happened, call the local Educational Service District for information.

Best wishes,
Catherine