Expert: Jene Aviram - 8/18/2009

Question
I have a 12y/o son, he is in the grade was held back in kindergarten because the teacher thought his social skills weren't ready for 1st grade. We live in a very rural community with a very small school and medical base. It has been a struggle for him throughout his school years, work has not come easy for him, however, he has been on the honor roll several times through out school. He is very good at reading and spelling though writing and math are quite a struggle for him. This year, the grade, began recently in a new school, with changing classes, a locker, 7 periods, longer days, and 4 day school week, all for the first time. All of these major changes at once have caused him to shut down. He isn't doing any work in class, he isn't bringing home homework, find classes, find papers, remember what the teacher has said in class, etc. We have been struggling very hard for the last 2 weeks and school has just begun. I am very fearful that this is going to go on all year long. I started reading up on autism because the thought has been floating around in the back of my mind when we have really bad days or weeks. When I started looking it sounds a lot like he may very well have either autism or arzburgers. He has always rather played alone than with other kids his age. Although he has been in sports such as little league and youth football he still doesn't engage with the other children like the others do. Like I said we are in a very rural area and I don't know where to go or how to go about getting him tested or know what the next or first step is... Any help you can provide to lead me in any kind of direction to know what questions to ask and to whom would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Answer
Hi Melody,

Your son sounds incredible.  He has coped with his challenges without extra help up to this time.  You can be very proud of him!  I would certainly seek a professional opinion to see if he does qualify for a diagnosis.  This way, he will be entitled to services, help and extra support.

I know you are in a rural area but your pediatrician must be able to refer you to someone.  Typically at this age, a child psychologist who specializes in behavior disorders such as Asperger's, autism, ADHD is the best person to see.  You might have to travel some distance but it would be well worth it if you son gets services and support at school.  He has done so well that we'd like to keep him on track and his self esteem in place.

You can also contact the nearest Autism Society Chapter in your area, and ask them for assistance.  They are very likely knowledgeable about the professionals who are in closest proximity to you.  And they are likely to have other valuable insight as well as parents who you might reach out to you.  Look for the closest chapter here http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=community_chapters

I'd like you to visit this website and read some of the interviews of adults on the autism spectrum.  They discuss some of their childhood and perhaps it will put things more in perspective for you.  It might help you a lot.  The link is http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-interviews.htm

I wish you the best of luck.  It seems overwhelming in the beginning when you are still trying figure out what the problem is and how to get through it.  But little by little, it all comes together and your proactive parenting will really benefit your son.

I wish you the best of luck.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com