Expert: Dr. Sharon A. Mitchell - 8/10/2009

Question
My niece is having a tough time with her 3yr old running away while out side. What are some ways she can help her daughter know she can't take off. Is there a way for time outs or some other method that might help.I just would hate for anything to happen to our favorite little girl.

Answer
Hi Kassie,

What a worry for your family. Running away can be a problem with many toddlers but even more so with kids with autism spectrum disorders. Since you are writing to the AllExperts autism page, I presume that this little girl has a form of autism or some of the characteristics.

Reasoning with a three year old the first thing most people try to do. While this is ideal, it may not work well with a child so young.

Time outs, as you mention, are another good disciplinary tactic. Initially a 3 year old may not realize why she is being made to sit in the chair or whatever form your time out takes. Consistency is key but timing would be important too. You want her to relate the time out to running away outside. Unless the time out immediately follows the running, it may be hard for her to make the connection. This may also depend on the level at which she functions language-wise.

A book you may find helpful on this is called, 1-2-3-Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2 - 12. You can take a look at the book here http://preview.tinyurl.com/otcjsd

Do people play chase games with this little girl? If she laughs and squeals when chased in the house and loves the attention, then she would not understand why she can engage in the same game outside. Being chased is fun for a kid and gives them a sense of power. I'd suggest not playing in this fashion at all with her if you want her to stop running away.

When does she run? Many kids with autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) are affected by sensory sensitivities. Noise may bother them more than you would think. A child who is visually sensitive may feel overwhelmed by the blur of traffic in the street and bolt. Malls can be frightening places for those with sensory issues - all the noise, confusion, motion, smells, lights, etc. and a prime place for running in an attempt to escape the overwhelming feelings.

If you think that sensory sensitivities may be behind her running, an occupational therapist (OT) may be able to offer you good advice on which senses are most affected and ways you can help her to feel calmer. But even if you do not have access to an OT, there are things you can try such as:

- a weighted vest - sometimes the feeling of weight has a calming effect
- a pressure vest - this can work similar to a weighted vest

Many places sell such garments but here is an example http://www.therapyshoppe.com/therapy/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1035

Kids with autism have difficulty making sense of their world and often are "rule-governed". Having someone clearly state the rule is helpful to them. When raising a child with an ASD some of the most useful words are "The rule is......." Perhaps this could work with your grand-niece. For example, "The rule is you hold mommy or daddy's hand when walking outside."

Although not an ideal or long-term solution to the problem, some parents use a child tether. Many companies make these products. Here are a couple:

http://www.the-baby-boutique.com/tottether.html

http://www.takealongtether.com/

To help set the practice your niece would like to establish, she could consider using a social story. This is a technique often used with kids with ASDs and involves a short story of what will be happening and what is expected of the child. You'll find examples at sites like these:

http://www.autisminspiration.com/public/department47.cfm

You might find some useful ideas in some of author Linda Hodgdon's books:

Solving Behavior Problems in Autism http://preview.tinyurl.com/p9q2o7

Visual Strategies for Improving Communication : Practical Supports for School & Home http://preview.tinyurl.com/ozmw8l

While your immediate concern is this little girl's safety, the lessons she'll learn through this about complying with directives from adults and the confidence that she knows how to behave will be invaluable later on.

Best wishes,

Sharon A. Mitchell, B.A., B.Ed., M.A., Ph.D. Candidate
www.autismsite.ca