Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 8/19/2009

Question
Hello,
My name is Victoria Longoria and I was told this past August that my 5 year old son is PDD-NOS. He is nonverbal, active, and friendly but I can't get his attention to sit down and listen to what I want to teach him. As soon as I start with the alphabets, numbers, or naming something for that he can say he ignores me, covers his ears, or just leaves. I don't know what else to do, I have tried reinforcements but he tends to throw tantrums and doesn't do nothing I ask him. What else can I do?
Also, I have a 4 year old boy and he is starting to act certain ways like his brother who is autistic. He tends to hit his head like his brother but is also nonverbal, lately I have been asking him to repeat the objects, and he sometimes says it but sometimes he laughs and thinks I am joking, my question is: Is it possible that he is learning from his brother like monkey see monkey do because he doesn't have the signs of autism, I have gone through the check list over and over but he is starting to hit himself when I tell him no and is nonverbal, he listens to directions, responses to his name, social with others, eye contact is there, but is not verbal he says a couple of words but mostly I can understand him. Is it still ok for children his age to be late in specking. Will he pick up his language once he enters in preschool?
Thank You,
Victoria R.Longoria

Answer
Hi Victoria,

Your 5 year old son is entitled to free, early intervention services through your local school district. He should be attending a pre-school program to help him learn verbal and social skills.

I know, as parents, we feel we should be able to teach everything our children need. But, a special needs child requires expert help. Do find out how to enroll him in this program by calling your local Educational Service District office.

Your 4 year old is probably imitating his brother. While the eldest child usually learns speech from the parents, second and third children usually learn as much from their older siblings. Since big brother does not talk, he has no role model. He may begin to talk while his brother is away at the school program, but he may not.

Still, I think you should have your second son evaluated for the speech delay. If he is far enough behind, he will also qualify for early intervention. Schools prefer to help children catch up before they enter kindergarten. Language is best acquired before the age of three. He may fully understand and just need the prompting to talk.

It is common for a child to resist direct teaching from a parent. When you get frustrated, he feels powerful. Get him involved with the speech and occupational therapists who know how to handle this. Your job is to provide the love and support, guidance and limits at home.

Best wishes,
Catherine