Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 9/11/2009

Question
Hi Valerie, I have recently become concerned about my 20 month old son. I'm having a hard time telling if he is showing signs of Autism or if he is just shy/to attached to me. He does talk on occasion but when I see other kids his age they seem to talk much more. He doesn't seem to want to be around or play with other children but then there are times when he will say hi and wave at another child. I recently started him in a play group with kids his age and they seem much more advanced socially and vocally. At playgroup he will walk up to them and wave/say hi or just stand in front of them but will not play with them. He will stay close to me and during one of the play groups all he wanted to do was have me hold him. He has eating issues (allergic to say) and is a very fussy eater. He also has issues with gas and bowel problems in which he fluctuates from being constipated to having diarrhea. This has been going on since he was one week old. He will respond and look at me when I say his name and he points at items or when I point or look at something he will look too. He does make eye contact but will not hold it for very long. He will hug and kiss on occasion but not on a regular basis. On occasion he will plug his ears with his fingers but then there are times when he does it quite often and then there are times when he wont do it for weeks. I'm not sure if you need any additional information.  If so please let me know. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Answer
Hi Marcie
You were correct to write me. Autism exhibit so many different characteristics that it throws a lot of people off. Your son appears to exhibit the three signs of autism that are needed for a diagnosis: language delay, social delay and the appearance before the age of three.He also has several other issues that lead me to suspect some sort of a developmental delay: the gastrointestinal issues as well as the fact that he is sticking his fingers in his ears (either because he is hearing sensitive or because he likes the way things sound with his fingers in his ears). Also the finickiness with food can be a sign

That said: I am not allowed to diagnosis-only a doctor or psychologist can. And to be honest, many times, doctors are squeamish about diagnosing a young child your son's age. I wish I had a dollar for how often a doctor tells a parent that the child is either fine or only language delayed and then later the child turns out to have a developmental issue like autism.

But you know in your heart that he is delayed as you have been around other children. So either get him to a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist or psychologist who is experienced in developmental disorders, and get him started on speech training and occupational therapy.

If you want to do some things at home to work with him, let me know-I help parents to work with their own children in their homes.

Please feel free to write me back if you have any other questions