Expert: James Michael Roan - 9/30/2009

Question
I am in a relationship with a single mother with two girls. I suspect that the older girl (12) has some level of Asperger's. I have observed, experienced through personal interaction, multiple behavioral patterns that are strong signs pointing at some form of high functioning autism. The mother maintains that her child is balanced (for her age) and gifted in several respects. She does recognize that there are some areas of concern, but ascribes that to age related issues.

Should I make her aware of the possibility that her daughter needs assistance, and if so, how do I do this? It is at a point where the relationship may be endangered due to the fact that my interaction with the child is interpreted possibly incorrectly.

Answer
Hi Joost;

You are probably at risk of relational problems if you force the issue. If her daughter is functioning at school without emotional and behavioral problems, then I personally would let it go. If, on the other hand, she is having problems or has them down the road, then at that time you could make some gentle suggestion. Good luck! This is a tough situation.

Kind regards,
James