Expert: Jene Aviram - 9/4/2009

Question
i,am twenty seven and i still live at home . i was told by a counsler that i might have autism all through child hood i was picked on. all always have a hard time realating to people i spend most of my time at home and it finally hit me that i don,t have a cance on my own i have a hard time with jobs and about as unskilled as a person can get. i never had any close feinds . my mother always wonder why i don,t talk like other kids did . like what i read on autism , iam starting to thick i realy might have it as a child to adult hood ive bean know to shake my leg and drum my fingers . in school others would pick on me and i would just stand there and stare . i was put in detention alot becuse of haveing staring problems . now i just don't know what to do is there a place wyere i can live . i realy don't wan't to leave home but my parents are reatirment age i feal like a burdon if there no place i can go i guess i goig to live on the streets .ive been put in hospitals for suacidale thoughts , with little bit i roat doyou thick i might have autism, i realy dont liked to be touched or hug if that matters.

Answer
Hi,

I feel your pain.  Please don't despair this way.  There is hope.  It's very possible that you are on the autism spectrum.  To be sure you would have to go to a psychologist or someone who specializes in autism spectrum disorders.  They would be able to do an evaluation and let you know for sure.  Getting a diagnosis helps in many ways.  Firstly, it validates your feelings about yourself.  You are not wrong being who you are. You might not be the average Joe, but who wants to be that anyway?  Anyone who ever did anything great always stood apart from the crowd.  Just because you had a rough start doesn't mean you have to continue on the same path.  There are thousands just like you, who are going through the same thing.  Secondly, with a diagnosis you qualify for state and financial aid.

I'm not sure what state you live in but there are many groups of adults, that share your issues and they often get together.  It's a wonderful form of support and friendship.  This is an example of one place in NY.  Take a look at the website for interest http://www.grasp.org/lrn_def.htm

In terms of trying to figure out if you could be on the spectrum, why don't you read some of these interviews by people who have aspergers/autism?  They speak about their childhood and how they are today.  Perhaps you can identify?  http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-interviews.htm

The first step is coming to terms with who you are, and that's exactly what you're doing.  You should get a medal in my opinion.  If you are on the autism spectrum and have coped this long without any support, - well you are simply phenomenal.  I know it hasn't been an easy road.  And the hardships you've mentioned are common, but you have endured it all - and are able to write it down and express it.  You're quite amazing.

You really need some support and understanding and there is a LOT out there for you.  I'm sure your parents don't find you a burden.  They are your parents and would go to the ends of the earth for you.  Trust me - I'm a parent so I know.  They just aren't sure how to help you but I bet they wish they could.  Why don't you talk to them about the possibility of being on the spectrum and ask if they can help you find someone to get a diagnosis.  Even without that, they can still help you look for organizations and support. This will open up a whole world of opportunity and comradeship that you never thought existed.  There are many professionals, job coaching, etc that can help you find your way.

I must tell you that people on the autism spectrum have shown me a new perspective, and taught me more than you could possibly imagine.  Here is a message board that's run by someone with Aspergers.  Take a look at it, and perhaps connect with some people here.  It's great place to ask questions and people might be familiar with options in your state.  http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html

But PLEASE look into some official organizations that provide support for people on the spectrum.  These people can really help you.  And you CAN lead a happy life.

I hope this has been of some help.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com

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