Expert: Celtica - 1/3/2010

Question
I am 29 years old and the more I learn about Asperger Syndrome, the more I wonder if that wasn't what was wrong with me as a child.  I had to overcome alot; could Aspergers be the reason why?

1. I had a horrible time making and keeping friends (still do)
2. I litteraly could not walk a mile in someone elses shoes- I just couldn't understand that they could feel like I do. (this I now "get" and it was a slow painful process that was aided greatly by adopting my dogs.  I am an expert on reading dog body language because I memorized all of their stress signals from a 2 hour video I watched about 6 or 7 times the first 6 weeks that I owned it)
3. I definitely could not understand how my actions affected others.
4. I mis-interpreted social cues (still do)all the time
5. I spent the vast majority of my childhood in tears- in fact "cry baby" was part my name according to the other children.
6. I spent every recess, every day swinging on the swings by myself and singing made-up songs at the top of my lungs!!!
7. I often miss when people are tired of talking about dogs (my passion) and I spend every waking moment studying dogs(thank God it's my career!)
8. My mother reports that when I was born, I resisted touch.  I would stretch out and become as stiff as a board- she spent uncounted number of hours just cuddling and singing to me (whether I liked it or not), anyway I got over it before my memory serves as I cannot remember a time that I did not like touch.
9. I often would speak too loud, or out of turn, or even on a completely different topic.
10. I crouded others personal space (still do)- getting way to close to people and not reading their social cues telling me to back off.
11. My mother use to tell me that I had an "in-take" problem because I misunderstood so much of what was said to me.
12. I was always the last to understand a joke- and sometimes I still am.
13. I suffered from terrible depression and I can remember being depressed as far back as... well as far back as I can remember (3 years old may be or 4?) until college when the depression was finally diagnosed and treated.

considering my IQ, it takes me a very long time to read things.
I have been diagnosed in the passed with a learning disability similar to ADD (no hyperactivity), but at the time, I don't think that Asperger Syndrome was on the psychologist's radar as this was close to 10 years ago.

How do I know if this is worth looking into?- both monetarily and emotionally.  I mean, firstly, what do you think as far as does it sound like Asperger Syndrome?  And what can I benefit from a diagnosis?  Additionally, if I am diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, what can I do with that information with respect to my family planning (my husband and I are currently trying for a baby).


Thank you for your time.


Answer
Hi Crystal,

please note I'm not a doctor or psychologist, so please don't take what I say as a diagnosis (to do that over the internet is pretty impossible anyway).
Having said that, what you write does indeed sound alot like you could have Asperger's and it could be worth looking into it.

Also, your reading/comprehension problem sounds familiar, I have similar issues (you may still have an IQ in the gifted range, though! However, that 's *not* required for an AS diagnosis, altough the media wants us to believe people with AS are all little Einsteins).

I don't think these kind of problems with reading and things are typical for people with AS/HFA though (I know a bunch of typical AS people who can read, study and concentrate with absolutely no problem at all - it's possible to have AS AND a learning disablilty/ADD, though), just wanted to say I can relate!

Is it worth emotionally ? - for me, it definately was nothing but a great relief: It's okay to be the way I am, I'm not crazy or stupid, and it finally has a name, and there are others like me out there. It can explain things about you to your husband/familiy and others (like at work), if you want to disclose it there and can make getting along with others/coworkers easier.
Others might struggle more with their diagnosis, finding it hard to accept. If all of this is relatively new to you you might need some time to settle down after you have recieved the dx, probably questions like 'why didn't I get diagnosed earlier/in childhood, it would have spared me alot of hard times/bullying/...' and stuff might well up, but that's maybe just natural.

I don't really understand what you mean with if it's worth monetarily. If you are wondering if you'll have to pay for your diagnosis, I cannot really answer that question. If will depend on wich country you are in, what kind of doctor you're seeing and whether you are having health insurance. My diagnose(s) were covered by my insurance, so I payed nothing for them (I'm in Europe, things may be different if you are in the US).
If you mean if a diagnose would give you other monetary advantages, I guess it also depends on the country you're in. In my country you have for example some tax advantages as far as I know.

Concerning your family planning, you should know that you have slightly higher risk of getting a child on the spectrum than the average person (as autism is considered to be a genetic condition), other than that, if you feel ready for a child and think you'll be able to handle it, there's nothing that should keep you from trying for a baby ! I do believe that spectrum people can make wonderful parents !

hope that helps,
C.