Expert: Paul Johnson - 10/22/2010

Question
At a recent family celebration, a family member with AS became emotional, crying and creating a scene. She is a 25 year old college graduate recently diagnosed, who has always had difficulty negotiating even the most ordinary social situations. Compoundung her issues are a number of medical problems. Examples like the recent "meltdown" have occured many times in the past, usually with one or more family members giving up participation in the festivities to try to calm/comfort her. My basic question is: Assuming the environment is safe, would a better option be to ignore as much of the histionics as possible and tell her that when she feels better, please join the other guests, then leave her and join the festivities?

Answer
Hey Kathy,

Thank you for your original and compassionate question.

Though I would like to know more about what you mean about creating a scene, I think the family member should be requested to 1) recognize when the meltdown was approaching and 2)For the family member to be encouraged to remove her self from the other members and allow herself to go through her meltdown in her personal space and then return when it has run its course.
You or another family member can check in on her from time to time until she has completed her meltdown. It is disrespectful for the other family members to be subjected to the emotional outburst. Both the Aspie and the family should know that it can be handled in a reasoned manner.
I do not think it is necessary to comfort her but to acknowledge that those meltdowns are a part of her neurological makeup.