Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 11/29/2010

Question
Let's set some records straight because I know there are a ton of mothers
(and fathers) out there who worry them sick over these things they read about
and don't know how to interpret them!

1. How common is it for a 8-9 month old to not babble yet? Just make
vowels, blow raspberries, squeal, smile and laugh. I can't imagine everyone
babbles on time around 6-7 months like the book says. How common is this
based on your experience?

2. Late babbling is, based on your experience, how often a sign there's a
problem? Meaning, how many times out of 10 would you say late babbling.. is
just late babbling or small delay, and nothing more. I think it's very important
for parents to be reassured that this is something that can happen as well as
early babbling and that most of the time it's not a problem.

3. Responding to name means what? Is a baby, really, supposed to always
look up at the parent whenever they hear their name being called? I have been
talking to plenty of parents who say their babies do respond to their name at
times but plenty of times they just don't bother. Example: Baby clearly knows
his name because when father calls his mother's name baby doesn't react but
when father calls the baby's name, the baby reacts. When in the living room
sitting in the baby walker the baby reacts when he hears his name being
called from the hall, turns his head and looks/smiles at mommy. When
mommy sits next to baby or holds the baby and calls his name, baby doesn't
react and continues looking around or playing with his toys. Is this okay? Is it
okay for a baby to actually ignore and not respond some of the time? As long
as he DOES respond other times? I think many mothers don't know what this
actually means, and start to worry whenever the little one doesn't respond.

4. Eye contact. If baby pays attention, looks in the eye and smiles and makes
happy sounds when parent is playing with the baby when baby is on his back,
when parent is singing and talking and making funny faces and sounds and
kissing baby's feet and so on. But when holding the baby in the arms baby
doesn't look in the eyes when up close. Only sometimes. Or a quick look. But
no gaze. Or when baby, 8-9 months, is sitting and playing on the floor and
doesn't look at mommy very often or respond when mommy calls BUT baby
spontaneously gives mommy a quick look or smile while playing every now
and then.

There can't be either "eye contact or no eye contact", "responding or not
responding", "babble or no babble"- must be something in between, a wide
variety.. or am i wrong? Please explain to us! Let us know if these variations
can actually be normal! I know it's important to educate people but there's no
need to scare people too, so I believe it's important to show that babies can
vary in behavior as well and not just be "this 9 month old loves to gaze into
mommy's eyes and only do that and show and point and wave and clap and
babble up a storm" - meaning, if they don't, there's a problem. Is it that easy?

Answer
Hi E

Yes you are correct. There are variations in the ages that developmental milestones occur. What we professional have is called the range of normal. Similarly to when you get a blood test and there is a range of normal for your scores.

I know you seem like the person who would like pat answers to your questions, but it isn't that simple. We don't just say, you are not in the range of normal for a certain milestone and worry away. We put things together like a jigsaw puzzle. So if we see that the child falls just a bit outside the range of normal on say, one milestone, we might just recommend that we wait and see what happens a few months down the line. But if the child is falling a great deal outside the range of normal, and on more than one thing, well, that is going to be more of a cause for concern. So each situation is different because every child is unique.

That said, we do have certain behaviors that we look for at every age. The list is way too long for me to write in this venue. But we have a scale in which we ask the parents a long list of questions in regards to whether or not their child is doing something at the ages when the behavior is normally seen.

Then there are the red flags. Again, one red flag may not merit concern for awhile, but several do-especially when the delay is great.

Hope this answers helps