Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 12/20/2010

Question
Hi there,  I'm a nanny of a 14 month old little boy named Jamieson have been his nanny since he was 1 month old. I've watched and raised many children over the years and Jamieson is very different so that is why I'm asking this question.
I'm concerned that he may have some sort of Autism I just don't know how to tell his mother without sounding like a know it all and then over reacting if this turns out to be nothing.
Jamieson doesn't wave, blow kisses, point to body parts, or objects. When playing he doesn't build with blocks, stack and unstack, he does however love banging toys on the ground and flipping things over like he's examining them. He loves books but doesn't point to nose, eyes etc in the books. Doesn't says words that respond to people like mama, dada, nana. just babble whenever. Playing peek a boo he loves but won't place his hands over his face but will take my hands and place my hands over my face, same with pat a cake will do with my hands only. Even when I do with his hands he jerks away. I've asked his mother if she's spoken with his doctor and she tells me the doctor is not worried. I don't think she's telling the doctor the truth.
The most concern I have is the fact that Jamieson won't let anyone besides his mother or myself hold him, crys franticly with other people even people he's seen all the time. Can't leave him with anyone else he doesn't stop crying.  I can't even have visitors over, he thows a tantrum, crying fit, I havee to put him into another room, even holding him doesn't calm him down. It's like he doesn't want to share me with anyone else.
Please let me know what I can do, should he be tested, is this normal or could there be a problem underneath this wonderful child.
Concerned Nanny
Debby

Answer
Hi Debby

You are probably right as a child of 14 months should be further along with speech and other things as well. But what can you do? You can't tell the mom. However, I can help you teach him a few things...

First of all, take some pictures of the things he likes. Print them out, have them laminated and then cut them out. Then put velcro on the back of them and attach to a small notebook. Then try and get him to give you a picture of what he wants when he wants it.

Also, take common objects- 2-3 at time and ask him to hand you the one you say.

Keep up with the finger play and hand games.

On a regular basis (like every 2 hrs), gently give him a massage with some nice lotion. On his hands, feet, tummy back, neck. Whatever body part he will let you touch. Stay away from the face for the time being.

See if he will start repeating some words or the beginning of words.

That's a start-good luck. I hope the mom wakes up a bit. This is a common issue with moms (I'm one and I was in denial for awhile as well)