Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 2/19/2010

Question
I have a friend, who is 12 years old. He is sometimes called a "walking encyclopedia" by teachers, and I'm not sure if that's because they know for sure that he has AS or just because they think the name is fitting.

I haven't known him for too long, but I learned a bit about AS from reading novels with characters with autism. For example, we were having a casual discussion about hamsters, and he quickly named every species of hamster and even told a little about the history of hamsters. He also is the first to solve complicated brainteasers that stump everybody else, but nobody else seems to think he is weird or different in any way.

He is more than a year ahead of most of the 7th grade in math, despite attending an average public school. He is considered a sort of genius at our school, because he is so smart but modest. He rarely talks about his achievements (mostly in math, but also in geography and science)but seems to know every little-known fact (the colors, different types of screws, how certain movie shots are able to be filmed). Once I suggested something, and he told me that my idea was dumb. I don't think he was trying to be mean, but he told me right away that it was a bad idea and it wouldn't work. And the teacher pretended not to hear, does that mean she already knows?

I also noticed that he always waves his hands around, or, if he's sitting at a desk, pats the desk's surface with his hands. I asked him about it once, and he immediately stopped.

He speaks very formally and rarely with any expression in his voice, but he has no trouble making eye contact, which I've heard some people with AS do. He is very insightful, and never stutters or repeats himself. He sometimes sounds like an adult, but cries easily, he even cried once during school just because a teacher told him to stop talking to a classmate.

Would it be inappropriate if I asked him about it or even mentioned AS in a conversation, just to see his reaction? Or is it really none of my business?

Answer
Hi Harriet

How perceptive you are!! Yes-most likely your friend is "on the spectrum," meaning he has either High Functioning Autism or Asperger's Syndrome.

But there are many people who function quite well in society that are not diagnosed. Since your friend appears to be doing well, I don't think you should say anything. However, if you ever become really friendly and your friend approaches YOU about why he is the way he is, you could broach the subject delicately.

You are right that he was not being mean when he said your idea was a dumb idea. People with autism are often very direct in their comments.

Thank you for being a friend and understanding this person.