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Autism/Should I tell my classmates that my sibling has Asperger's?

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Expert: - 2/21/2010


Question
I'm tired of my classmates thinking my sister is weird. I want to tell them that she has AS, but she would prefer that I wouldn't. Advice please?

Answer
Hi Harriet,

I know it is hard on you to have classmates saying things like that. We all want to be popular and feel like we fit in. How hard all this is kind of depends on whether she is older or younger than you are. If she is older, then you have teachers and schoolmates who may assume you are like her. If she is younger, perhaps she's just "annoying."

The people who are good friends should be focused on who YOU are and not your sibling. Be yourself and choose friends who like you for yourself. On the same note, your sister can only be herself. Try to just let it be. I don't know very many kids whose friends like their siblings, any way. The truth is that, depending on her personality, she could not have AS and still be considered "weird." Try to think of a response you can just pull up when needed. Something like, "she's definitely an original." Then just move on to another topic.

Your sister will have to choose, on her own terms, how/when/where to share her diagnosis. It is no one's business if she wishes to keep it private. Labels, shared in the wrong place, can cause problems far down the road.

Best wishes,
Catherine  

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Catherine Ridenour

Expertise

I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.

Experience

I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.

We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.

Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.

Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.

I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.

NOTE:

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