Expert: Paul Johnson - 4/16/2010

Question
I am currently the educational assistant to a male child of 5 who has been diagnosed with autism.  He is ESL, and is just aquiring English.  After a brief " honeymoon period" of cooperative and fairly passive behavior he has become physically aggressive with his classmates.  He also giggles for hours on end and finds it next to impossible to keep his hands out of his pants.  Any requests result in laughter and yet when his grandmother speaks to him he is attentive and follows through with what she requests.  His mother seems unable to discipline him and never follows through with requests she makes of him.  He is becoming physically aggressive with myself and some children in the class.  His receptive language seems to be quite high and he is just starting to use english.  I am looking for an effective way to have this child meet with optimum success, the way things currently are progressing he will very soon be isolated from his peers for safety reasons.  He has also taken to running whenever he gets the chance and is nonresponsive to any verbal requests to stop.  There appears to be no follow through at home on any requests, so he is dismissive of any instructions delivered verbally although he appears to understand.
Any insights will be appreciated.
With thanks Ann

Answer
Hey Ann,

Thank you for your challenging and important question.

First I will cut to the "nitty gritty" of your question and then I will address some issues that are there around the matter.

At the age of 5 years old there is much "attachment" issues going on. He is adequately attached to his grandmother. Not attached well with his mother and was attached and loss that attachment with you. This is what I speculate from previous experiences with preschoolers and early childhood. All three of you are females and he is male, he is developing an adequate response to you as an individual. You must stay consitent and firm in your expectations.

Right now I feel your best bet at regaining a rapport and bond with him and re attach with the boy is to spend one on one time in interactive play or with an activity like a walk in the park. He needs to know you can be trusted and safe. Your discipline has to be done with support over chatisement. Then you will regain his cooperation and trust.

There are some things I would like to share with you about his condition.
1.   His laughter is what is considered innapropriate. We all on the spectrum engage in it.      Ignore or re-direct it. it is simply his own take on things that amuses him alone.
2.   The boy is somewhat high functioning like Asperger's because he has already developed some language and is considered able to learn English.
3.   Language is one of our greatest deficits and challenges. He is learning a second language while being challenged with language development and is very likely very stressful.His running is a form of a melt down or a sensory overload.
4.    Do not isolate him; as social skills development is also a critical skill for him to develop.
5.    See if there is a social worker involved in the famuily support network as s/he might be influential in helping momn learn parenting skills and receive emotional support for raising a special needs child.