Expert: Trey McGowan - 5/2/2010

Question
Dear Trey,
I hope my mail finds you in the best of health.
I need help about my daughter who is almost 6 now & is diagnosed with high function autism. Since about a month back she's picked up some really bad habits, like when we're out, she's always making faces, getting angry & blowing out loud at strangers. Even at home if something happens against her wishes, she's doing the same at me & her dad. I try my best to be very very calm when trying to stop her from doing this, but it just doesn't work!!! Even in school, at times she just starts crying. Another thing she does is, she loves to touch dusty surfaces, even with her feet, so while her peers are busy with other stuffs, she's busy in a corner with her bare feet.
I told her doctor about these problems, she suggested I should try & use Social stories, she's even let me borrow a book by Carol Gray, now my problem is not how to write a social story but how should I USE it with my child, because my child is very very reluctant to sit down and read something. Even when I try to read a story book to her she doesn't like it. I feel I am stuck and I just don't know how to get her out of this.
My native language is not English, so please forgive any mistakes.
I hope you'll be able to help me.....
Looking forward to your help,
Thank you so much,
GLT

Answer
Hi there, GLT!

Hopefully you can translate my instructions into your native language. If you can't, and they're too complicated, don't feel bad about writing me back and I'll try and make them easier! :) I don't know how good your English is, or how many people can translate for you.

Even with an autistic child, discipline is still necessary at times. I don't mean 'spanking' sort of discipline, but there comes a time when explanation and guidance needs to come into things. If she won't sit down, you may need to effectively sit her down and try explaining to her the stories.

One way to have her sit down with them is to make it an actual 'event'. Make it more positive than boring. As an example, if your child likes tea parties, then have a tea party set up, say, once or twice a week, and as part of it, make a 'storytime'.

Another way to try and make her listen to the stories is to schedule it. At the same time on the same day(s), 'It's reading time'. Let her choose a time if she wants; that will make her have a little more control over the situation and hopefully mean she'll sit and listen through the story. Then make sure she understands that the fifteen minutes (or however many minutes it takes on average) during that time is for story-learning. Not for playing, not for TV, not for anything else. By making it a part of the schedule, it may make her more comfortable with sitting and listening.

Now, if the stories don't work, it may be time to move to consequences. If she is playing on dusty surfaces, then you may need to show her that there are consequences for that action. With laundry, at her age, it might be tricky ("Since your clothes are dirty, now you need to wash them"), but see if you can find a way to show her that, by playing in the dust, there are consequences to the action. This is not a punishment, but rather showing her why she should not.

See if those suggestions help out! Questions, comments, feedback, follow-ups, are welcome!

Trey