Expert: Paul Johnson - 7/1/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi,

My son is 3 year old and I am very concerned that he has high functioning autism.  I took him to see a child specialist and he said that he doesn't seem to have autism based on the 1 hr observatoin.

My son can only speak Mandarin but he knows how to spell more than 200 to 300 English words by reading the books himself.  We never teach him how to spell but he is very interested in letters and numbers.  He always but the letters and numbers in line at home.  He has very good eye contact with family members but he tries to avoid eye contact with strangers or people he doesn't see often.  He can communicate with us but his language isn't as good as other 3 year old (even we compared with kids who speak Mandarin too)

At home he plays with us (such as the toy kitchen) and pretends cooking.  When I asked him "could you cook me a beef?" He will cook and make me a beef.  And he likes to play, hug and kisses his little brother who is 1 yr old.  And when we invite friends and relatives to come over, he seems very happy and also plays with them and shows them his toys.

However, when we take him to MY GYM, he doesn't get into the circle...he just play outside even we have been there for long time.  And last week was the first week he started his preschool.  He cried for few days and this week he seems a lot better....almost no crying.  However he doesn't get into circle with other kids.  He just plays his own stuff in the classroom.  And teacher told me that even though she tries to talk to him, he just ignores.  The teacher can speak Mandarin.

The positive thing is that he plays with relatives and their kids and my little son when they come to our house.  But outside when kids are form into a circle to talk or having activities, he doesn't join.  And he is very interested in his letters.  I don't think it's normal that a kid can spell more than 300 words at his age.

So I don't know if he is just very very shy or if this is the high functioning autism.

Please help!

ANSWER: Hey Fiona,

Thank you for your challenging question. I appreciate it because the focus is on the higher levels of Autism. There is alot of need at the highest levels of Autism that often goes overlooked because we are assumed to have less needs and less problems. Nothing can be further from the truth because once a person is within the spectrum they will have regular visits to unusual behaviors or poor social choices that brings attention to our differences. This point is worse for the High Functioning Autistic individual because we are thought to be normal who have chosen to act like a pest,(most people use spicier words to describe this behavior).

Now to your question. I see a few behaviors but no where enough for me to think Autism. This is not a significant reaction because the higher one is on the spectrum the more difficult it is to notice the Autistic characteristics. The HFA can hide the symtoms better.

The down side for you is likely to be that your son will avoid receiving a diagnosis of Autism until adolescence or adulthood and not receive early services.

My suggestion to you is to read the copious amounts of information on Autism traits and if you still believe that your son has it, take a rule out approach to him. What this means is to assume he has it until diagnosis or have it ruled out.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Paul,

Thank you so much for your quick reply and suggestion.  

Yes I think it's really hard for my son's case because he does seem very normal in many areas.

If my son really has HFA, can he still go to normal elementary, middle and high school?  And can he still get married and have a normal life?
This is the area that I mostly concern because all I want is that he can be happy and have a very normal life.

And I think your suggestion is right.  If I feel something wrong in my heart, I should have him to get diagnosis again and see what another specialist says.

And my last question to you is....if a kid doesn't want to get in circle time, is that a sign of autism?  When my son is in a playground, he is interested in other kids and try to approach to them, but it's just that he doesn't want to get in circle time at school or at MYGYM.  

Thanks again for your time,



Fiona

Answer
Hey Fiona,

This is a good follow up question.

Consider who you are talking to. I am 50 years old and I have a wife of 21 years. She and I are not exactly madly in love but we are pleased with each other and making marriage work. I have two teenage children. We life in a large three bedroom house in the suburbs. So can an Aspie enjoy a "normal" life-YES !

The real question is can an HFA bear the struggle and pain to not get distracted towards the path of "success"? Everyday I end up going to bed with disappointment. Either I am disappointed with how I am treated or people around me are disappointed with how I have chose to deal with them. This is a given. We all share in this and can not truly feel anybody understands this but another Aspie. Support is crucial, coaching is highly desired.

One huge advantage is that now Autism is being understood at a much higher level. This is a huge advance for children growing up in a more supportive atmosphere.

Your last question is the most difficult to answer. You are persistent with this lack of inclusion or participation of your dear one in circle time. As a Psychologist it can be attributable to so many things. This looks like social aversion, social phobia, Schizophrenia, paranoia, Reactive Attachment Disorder, oppositional defiant disorder. There actually are more classification to consider as well when one is talking about avoiding a social circle. I would not worry about it right now. Continue reading and talking with him and his language and emotional intelligence will eventually reach a level where he can share with you what is in his heart to avoid his peers.