Expert: Jene Aviram - 6/28/2010

Question
i believe my 3 year old son has autism.

i first started noticing the signs when he was a year and a half and it has just gotten way out of control.

my son was born premature, hes always had problems gaining weight.
he's excessively sick during the winter months and after immunizations.

i had complications during my pregrenancy and delivery.

the problems that i have noticed in my son are

very hyper, very active, go-go-go
has tempur tantums all day long
excessively high tolerance of pain
self injury to him self
head bangs
flops his head
self-destructive
constant shaking
abusive towards his mom
constant high pitch screaming


short attention span
only plays with a selection of toys
will only spend no more then 3 mins on a toy before moving onto the next toy
becomes obsessive with certain toys
constant throwing toys

has difficulty in expressing needs, just points or whines
repeats the same words over and over again
doesnt have a wide variety of vocabulary
only uses 1 words
doesnt pronouce the whole word hes saying just half
some words he says u cant understand
he can put a whole bunch of words together but they dont make sense
if you ask him something the answer is always yes
does not communicate
can not express his feelings or thoughts
doesnt understand what other people are feeling

insists on wearing the same clothes
remembers logos from flyers and when out when he sees those logos and he remembers what those logos mean even thou weve never been there before
insists on waching the same cartoons and movies
insists on watching the same cartoons and movies all day long
insists in reading the same book over and over again
insists on wearing the same clothes
does not like change
did not adapt to going to daycare
while at daycare prefered to play by himself then with the other kids same as going to the park
after going to daycare his behaviour, aggression and abusiveness got worse

will not sleep at anyones house even thou im there with him and i sleep with him
needs to be rocked to sleep ever since he started sleeping in a toddler bed
i sit and rock him and i stop hes still trying to rock himself
has to go to sleep with his baby and blanket or wont go to sleep
carries around his baby everywhere

constantly freaking out when we go somewhere
always causes a scene at a store
constantly eating weird things

never wants to be held - always wants to be picked up but put right down again
doesnt like anyone touching his head or he back of his neck

terrified of water
frequently having bowl movements
dinner time is a struggle - i cant get him to eat dinner
wont sit down at the dinner table to eat at my moms house
wants to snack and drink all day long

seems like hes always frustrated, angry and mad
never wants to play in his room
gets very jealous
very insecure
very clumsy, always falling down
brusises easily
always needs to be in the same room as i am in, or it causes a tantum

hes very sensitive
cries for no reason

i have done alot of reserach on the internet and he has alot of the red flags.

i took my son to see his pediatrican and his pediatrian wouldnt even look at the list of concerns or even discuss the concerns with me.

i have called every single agency in my city and the intake workers either tell me that my son needs to be referred or they dont deal with mental health or autism. and refer me to a different agency.

i have even called around to try and get my son a different ped but no one is accepting new patients.

what do i do know if no one is willing to help me get my son assessed.

from your personal opinion do u think my son has autism?

thank you
ashley.

Answer
Hi again Ashley,

An incredibly kind person had read your post and sent this information along about getting a referral in Canada.  I think it's wonderful that she took the time to write and I do hope this helps...

I am writing to let you know that the mother(from Canada) who contacted you about her son and how she couldn't get a referral from her pediatrician. Unfortunately her situation is not unique (I am in Canada too). I have a friend who had the same problem with her doctor and the diagnosis was delayed because of the that.
My friend waited for the good will of her family doctor when she could have very easily any referral she wanted from any other doctor. Here we can visit any clinic (where we can see a doctor without a prior appointment-first arrived first served basis) and we can have any referral we wanted (that is how i got mine).
I don't know where in Canada Ashley is. Good luck to her and thank you on her behalf for your kindness.



Ashley,

My heart goes out to you.  I know you are dealing with a lot and it's emotionally draining, especially when you're concerned about your child and don't have a definitive answer about what's going on.

It's impossible to diagnose over the Internet but you have mentioned a lot of red flags.  I can see you've done some homework too and are a proactive mom.  I can't believe your pediatrician won't listen to your concerns and would disregard them.  Why won't they give you a referral?  Can you write a letter to them stating all the concerns about your child that you've written here?  Include in your letter that you're dissatisfied that they're ignoring your concerns and request for a referral.  And make sure you Copy (and they see it) the National Board of Physicians, or whomever it is in Canada that has some authority over them.  It's absolutely unheard of that they can refuse a concerned parent a request for a referral.  I'm ready to phone them on your behalf - I mean it.  Just say the word and I'll talk to them for you!

Regarding some of the characteristics you mentioned, many are also synonymous with sensory processing challenges.  A little bit of Occupational Therapy would go a long way here (but you need an evaluation to get services of course!).  With respect to autism, you really need a very comprehensive evaluation.  I would like to suggest a few things.  Firstly, please go to this link and do the MChat.  After you do the test and click "Should I be concerned?" it will tell you which questions were the most important.  But don't peek.  Do the test first so you can get an accurate picture of your child http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-mchat.htm

The second thing I'd like you to do is download this article called "How do you know if your child has autism?"  This will explain exactly what you're likely to see with examples, and no technical language.  I think the article will either leave you feeling relieved, or that your suspicions about your son are correct. http://www.nlconcepts.com/autism-howdoyouknow.htm

Whether your son has autism or not, he needs help.  He is obviously struggling with sensory challenges such as textures, touch and a sense of body space.  He needs help with speech and self calming techniques.  He needs help learning to communicate.  You can't take this on by yourself.  You need some help.  I'm so upset to hear that your concerns have been brushed aside.  I'm serious about my offer of calling your pediatrician.  If I were in your shoes I would do everything I can to find a new pediatrician while you get a referral from your current pediatrician.

Please let me know if I can be of any help.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com