Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 7/29/2010

Question
I just recently started taking my daughter to a councler do to some family issues she is dealing with. Last week he told me he thinks she may have Asperger's Syndrome. Up until this point, I have never heard of this before.  My daughter is going to be 12 in 2 weeks and I have thought that her development was a bit slower then most, but she eventually seemed to do it and Dr.'s said that some children are just slower then others. The conciler gave me an question sheet to answer about my daughter and the results came back as may have Asperger's.  He said we will do further testing when she comes back from vacation with my mom, which will be in another week.  In the mean time, I have been trying to figure out what this is and what it all means. My daughter has been diagnoised at her school with a leaning disorder so she does go to special reading and writing classes which have seemed to be helpfull for her.  Her math skills are through the roof.  She really does impress me in some areas of her schooling, but others she needs extra help. Can you please point me in the direction to where I can learn more about Aspergers and if she is diagnoised with this, what should we do from there?  I live in Palm Beach Co, Florida so any help will be greatly appricated.
Thank you!

Answer
Hi Debra,

Sorry I have not answered as quickly as I usually do. Things are happening in my family, too.

The best way to learn about Asperger's Syndrome is to use the Internet search engines to read about it. I will include a couple of links at the end of this message. As you will see, it is considered rare in girls but it does happen.

Learning disabilities are common and usually look like your daughter's. Good skills in one area and delays in others.

The main issue is social interaction. She does not have the "instincts" to understand tone of voice, facial expression and body language. She is "socially deaf" for lack of a better explanation. This leads to frequent miscommunication both in sending and receiving social information. Her reactions may not fit the situation. She may not understand the give and take of games or conversation.

She may also lack the "filters" we use to screen out useless sensory input. Some AS people are overly sensitive to bright light, high-pitched sound, textures or flavors. A few even have a cross-over of senses called synesthesia where smells have color or sounds have physical sensations, for instance.

The lack of social instincts does not mean she cannot learn social skills. But, they must be directly taught. She will have trouble generalizing these skills as each new situation requires new learning. Over time, she will build a library of appropriate reactions to social situations and will do better. Still, a new wrinkle can throw her for a loop.

Emotionally, most AS kids are about 3-5 years younger than their peers. This adds to the difficulty in making and keeping friends. They do mature, just with that delay. If she's acting like an 8 year old in stressful situations, that's "normal" for her.

I do not believe that people of normal intelligence who have AS have to live a limited life. It is a matter of educating them in the things the rest of us take for granted. It is also, in my opinion, a matter of keeping expectations high and letting them learn to deal with failure when the stakes are low. Don't make everything easy for her. Help her get back up and try again.

I believe it is particularly important to give accurate information concerning puberty and sexual feelings to these kids. They can become quite confused during the hormone surges and the social behavior of other adolescents.

My advice on the parenting front is to set reasonable limits and use logical consequences. The parenting techniques I learned from the "Love and Logic" approach saved our family. (www.loveandlogic.com)

Check out these resources:
http://www.autism-pdd.net/links/florida.html
http://www.autismfl.com/

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm
The government website explaining the diagnosis

http://www.autismasperger.net/intro.htm

Best wishes,
Catherine