Expert: Paul Johnson - 7/19/2010

Question
I think my mom has multiple social, intellectual, and emotional disabilities. I have wondered if she might have a form of Autism.
When I was younger, I thought she was just not that bright; but as I have gotten older, I realize she must have some serious mental problems. She seems normal from a distance. She has temper tantrums every once in a while. She gets frustrated very easily. It is as if she stopped developing mentally after about 5th grade. She has had very few friends in her life. She does pretty well reading and comprehending reading, but cannot express herself very well verbally. She cannot understand how to make change or balance a budget at all. She cannot do a multiple step story problem. I think she can do simple division but not long division. She stuttered at times when I was younger, but now she rarely talks much so I cannot tell if that is an issue. A new thing is that she imagines weird things and will stubbornly not believe it when I try to talk her out of believing them. One example is that she thinks our neighbor told her he had an affair with his daughter-in-law (but confessed to nobody else). She despises him and tells people he had an affair. When he was speaking in public once, she stuck her  fingers in her ears and hummed loudly. My mom is somewhat affectionate toward me, but not overly. She is affectionate and idolizes my dad, but has little associations besides him. She does not appreciate women and mistrusts them. She has problems completing a task or coming up with her own projects. She does show signs of depression sometimes, but she still enjoys some things. She looks troubled and stares off into space a lot. With all of these issues, she still managed to get married and to raise me. As she is getting older, 65, she seems to be deteriorating cognitively quite quickly. We went to the Space Needle a few weeks ago and she was literally trembling like a leaf. She has shown increased anxiety and fear in the last few years.
I would be very thankful for any insights on my mom.
CK

Answer
Hey CK,

Thank you for your interesting and unique question.

What is clear to me from your description of your mother is that she is dealing with a learning disability of some sort. I can not tell if she has Autism however it is important that she does not feel worried about her deteriorating abilities. She appears to be comfortable in her chosen ways to cope with her disability.

The more comfortable she is with how she is dealing with it, the more she is likely to resist a lable of Autism or "dis-ordered". Support and reassure her always as you are likely thebest bridge she has to "reality".