Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 8/7/2010

Question
I have a 19-year-old son with Asperger's syndrome, and a 24-year-old daughter who is living with her best friend in Widnes.

Recently, our son's best friend told us that our son no longer wants to go the gym anymore.

We found this odd, as our son usually loves to go to the gym - he's been a member for 3 years now.

Our son is a well-liked, popular boy who's had struggles in life, but found his niche in life as soon as he became 17, when everything fitted into place.

He has a best friend called Rick, who he's been friends with since he was 14. Rick socialises with our son a lot, and also goes the gym with him sometimes, and our son goes out bowling with Rick [that's Rick's interest]. Rick does not have AS though.

However, last week, Rick came over and said he had something important to tell us which concerned our son.

We asked what it was, and Rick told us that for the past 3 weeks, a man has been taking photos of and filming our son and Rick getting dressed on his mobile phone.  His friend also told us the man had two friends who were laughing at him for this. Our son, sensibly, just ignored the men.

Our son said the man looked to be in his mid-20's and looked well-groomed, and that he'd seen the man sitting in the jacuzzi with his wife and children. He could tell the woman was the man's wife because he referred to her as "wifey" and the kids were shouting "Dad, Dad!" at him. This happened when him and Rick were in the swimming pool.

We asked our son to tell us a bit more about it, and he said what he told us above was everything he remembered.

My husband wants to take legal action against the gym, but I'm not sure where to go next with this, and neither are my son and his friend.

Any suggestions for dealing with this?

Thanks, Katherine H in Walkden, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

Disclaimer: This was sent from a public terminal.

Answer
Hi Katherine,

Any man who is taking pictures of other men dressing at the gym has a problem. He should be reported to the gym management AND the police.

The gym should ban him, immediately, pending an investigation. That will solve the "I don't want to go" problem.

Since you have two witnesses, one of whom does not have autism, it should be easy to prosecute the perpetrator. Trust me, he's doing this to more than just your son and his friend.

I urge you to report this as you have no idea what he is doing with the photos. Your son's pictures could end up as pornographic images on the Internet.

Best wishes,
Catherine