Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 8/10/2010

Question
I'm 23, my brother's 16 and has Asperger's. He's in college studying art and design, and doing well academically.
We are from North Lincolnshire, a county bordering on Humberside and South Yorkshire, in the United Kingdom.

Recently a friend of the family, who's in his late 50s, with grandchildren, told me he and his wife had seen him sitting in a field with some other youths chanting these words off a large piece of cardboard:
"Mes esame viena su šėtonu. Šėtonas yra Dievas. Šėtonas taisykles visame pasaulyje. Šėtonas yra mūsų lyderė."

He told me the youths were mixed-sex, and all wearing crop-tops and hotpants, and he was shocked by this.

I put the words into a translator online, and this was the translation:
"WE ARE AT ONE WITH SATAN. SATAN IS THE GOD. Satan rules all the world. Satan is our leader."

I've noticed odd behaviour too in my brother, he's been refusing to come down for meals, instead playing loud rock music and buying new pairs of headphones every week with money from his part-time job. He's also been dressing in the crop-tops and hot-pants, but no other female clothing. Ironically, he's not into cross-dressing.

From what the friend of the family told us, apparently he's a member of a cult. He told me that the cult is popular with the youths in our village, but that it's obscure, with little being known about it but a lot known about the rules of it, and little presence online - no Facebook, MySpace etc. about it, only a page about it on a history of Cambridgeshire.

It's affected our life a lot. My brother won't do anything unless it's explicitly defined in the cult's rules.

He refused to go to a theme park with us citing "The cult considers this a sin."

He even refuses to wear boxer shorts, which he normally does, claiming "The cult says briefs are right, boxer shorts are a sin."

It's even affected what he eats - with him saying "The cult won't allow me to eat this/that etc."

I've told my parents about this, and to be honest, we as a family are not sure what to do.

We tried to get counselling for him, but he told us the cult considered it a sin!

He won't talk to me or Mum and Dad about this, and I'm worried this goes way, way, way beyond the usual teenage rebellion.

I knew he wanted friends, but didn't expect him to go to these extremes.

What would be your advice on dealing with this situation? If it happened to your family, how would you cope?

Our family have tried to get advice but feel like we have no way out.

All help is appreciated.

Thanks, Sally

Answer
Hi Sally,

I think that his A.S. is kind of a side issue. Clearly, he may be more vulnerable to the influence of a cult than a "normal" person, though it's also clear many others, considered normal, are being sucked into it.

This is beyond the ability of any one family to deal with. Contact a cult intervention specialist. They may be hard to find but they do exist.

Getting someone out of a cult is very difficult and not always successful.

DO take action as this cult may go "sour" in some tragic way like a mass suicide, or worse, group murder.

Best wishes,
Catherine