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Question
I have a 15 year old child with Aspergers.I am currently writing a thesis paper on Aspergers and I need to know the following if you could help me.
Instead of disciplining with ISS,OSS, or corporal punishment,what would some effective punishments be?
Dear Lisa,
In my opinion, "punishment" does not belong in the realm of discipline. All children respond best to a system of reward and logical consequences. I am particularly opposed to corporal punishment of children who have little understanding of social rules.
It has been my experience that these kids spend time in revenge fantasies rather than considering that their own actions invoked the punishment. Neither do they anticipate, or accurately predict, the consequences of their actions.
Here is an example of a logical consequence: the teenager becomes angry and throws his iPod at the wall. It breaks. The consequence is the loss of the item. The reinforcement is that the adults DO NOT replace it, period. If the teen is motivated to earn a new one with chores, then that can be arranged.
Some situations don't lend themselves to such natural consequences. Then, it is up to the adult to arrange a consequence that makes sense. My approach was simple: I did not name consequences in advance only assured them that there would be some. (A little worry is a good thing. They can't decide if the risk is worth it or not.) And I never named a consequence I could not follow through with (no TV if homework was not done meant I had to pay attention to keeping it off).
This mirrors real life. That is what we want to teach our children, how to live in the real world.
Best wishes,
Catherine
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Answers by Expert:
Catherine Ridenour
Expertise
I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience
I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
NOTE:
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