Expert: Jene Aviram - 9/17/2010

Question
My son Travis is three and involved in a special education
program since he was 10 months old.  I have known for well
over a year he is most likely Autistic.  His Ped said he is
prolly PDD, and this year he will be evaluated for Autism by
the educational team we work with for Travis.
My question is I have tried time outs , 1-2 minutes and we
talk after, or rather I talk.  I can get him to say "sowie"
for not listening.  Then 5 minutes later he does the same
thing.  I can spend my whole afternoon on this behavior.  
What am I doing wrong?   I thank him for listening I talk to
him a lot.  The problems have been going to the frig taking
out eggs and run...or going into the bathroom and playing in
water before I can get to him.  Please give me some
suggestions I am really frustrated with this behavior and I
dont know how much he understands as what i am doing isn't
working to produce the desired behavior.  Thank you.

Answer
Hi Amy,

Dealing with challenging behaviors is one of the hardest things to manage.  It can take a great toll on parents and can be very emotionally draining.  People and family members can also tend to be "critical" and think the whole problem can be solved if the parent just "disciplines" the child more.  However, the typical discipline methods very often fail on a child with autism, since they don't respond or react in the same way that others do.

I truly believe you need a behavior consultant to help you in this area.  She will be able to take data on when and WHY the behaviors are occurring.  This is often called ABC data.  The A stands for Antecedent, B- Behavior and C - Consequence.
In other words, what happens just before the behavior begins, the behavior and the consequence the child receives.

With taking data, you might find for example that your child performs certain behaviors to receive attention.  Therefore reprimanding him and making a fuss is actually giving him the reward he's looking for and all the punishment in the world won't help.

You don't say how old your son is and that makes it a little more difficult.  I can tell you that REWARDING good behavior is often more successful with autism than disciplining for bad behavior.

One of the other biggest factors for success is consistency.  You have to behave the same way each time the behavior occurs.  This might sound easy but what if you have company?  What if you are exhausted?  What if your husband does the complete opposite?  For this reason people have more success when they begin with one behavior at a time.

You mentioned two... the fridge and the water.  I realize there are probably more, but pick just ONE and begin with that.

Bear in mind that you want your child to be SUCCESSFUL when you begin.  So you must start in small steps.  When he sees he gets rewards for good behavior, it becomes worthwhile for him to behave in that manner.

The first thing you need to decide is what rewards to give.  Small rewards that you don't have to take back, work best in the beginning.  For example, skittles, gummy bears, cheerios.  KEEP THESE ITEMS ONLY FOR REWARDING THE SKILL YOU'RE WORKING ON.  THEY SHOULD NOT BE AVAILABLE AT ANY OTHER TIME.  And your child should really like these rewards.  If I told you that I'd give you $5 if you cleaned your kitchen floor right now, would you do it?  Probably not.  What if I offered you $200?  Would it be worth it then?  Your child has to have that emotion.  And the reward has to be enticing.

So let's take one behavior that you mentioned... for example, taking eggs out the fridge.

A couple of suggestions are (and remember you start small because you want him to be successful to receive rewards)
1.  Put some things in the fridge IN FRONT of the eggs such as small containers of apple sauce or yogurt.
2. Sit in the kitchen and ask your son to open the fridge and bring you a yogurt.
3.  When he brings it you, lavish him with praise for example "Great.  You ONLY got a yogurt.  Nice job!" and then immediately hand him a reward, example gummy bear.
4.  Repeat this frequently.
5.  Another great idea is to get a visual timer.  You can find them here http://nlconcepts.com/autism-timetimer.htm

With these timers, you can actually see the time disappearing.  As the time runs out, the red area disappears.  You can tell your son that if he has good fridge behavior, when the red is finished he gets a reward. In the beginning he might not understand, but he'll get it fast.  Again, start small so that he experiences success.  You can always add time later but if you put him off in the beginning it's very hard to back track.  So after 2 or 5 minutes (whatever time you think is appropriate since you know how often the behavior occurs), make a big deal, show him the red is finished and that he had great fridge behavior, then reward him.  If he slips up and gets eggs and runs away, bring him to the timer and say something like "Oh no, bad fridge behavior."  Then start the timer again so he sees the red area go back to the beginning with no reward.

It takes a lot of experience to manage behaviors and if you are so sure that your son has pdd, then try to get a diagnosis.  The diagnosis serves as a license for you to receive services, typically at no expense. And that way you will get a behavioral consultant to help you.

By the way, I think you will find this site to be very helpful.  Make sure you look under the Greatness of autism
http://www.nlconcepts.com

Sorry it's taken a few days to respond.  For some reason, your message went in my junk folder.... I'm glad I found it.  I truly hope this has been of some help.  I wish you great success and luck.  You sound like an awesome mom.

Jene Aviram
http://www.nlconcepts.com