Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 9/12/2010

Question
My 3 year old grandson does not say any independent thoughts. He parrots everything that is said. He is beautiful, but does not talk independently. He displays high intelligence. He can play chopsticks on a keyboard, work a DVD player, and repeats anything that is said. He repeats over and over again. My daughter-in-law does not want to think that he has a problem. He is going to start a preschool. He would not acknowledge the teacher in the meeting. Went to the bathroom and washed his hands twice. He will not have a BM in the toilet. Just screams that he cannot stop over and over when he needs to have a BM because he does not want to sit on the toilet. He has poor speech. He does not answer when questioned. Do you think he should be evaluated?

Answer
ABSOLUTELY!!  

Your grandson is indeed not displaying developmentally appropriate behaviors. It is not typical for a three year old to only have parrot speech (which we call echolalia). Also the handwashing and reluctance to make a BM on the toilet are red flags as is not answering when questioned.

If the parents are agreeable, he needs to be evaluated by the school system, a developmental pediatrician, a pediatric neurologist or a child psychologist.

Let me know how it goes. Since you are the grandparent, you are in a tough position, but hopefully your daughter-in-law will come out of denial and begin to get help for her son