Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 1/20/2011

Question
Dear Katherine,
My 2nd son is 2 years 8 month old now. We are currently living in a small city in France (have been living here since my son was 6 months old), and English and French are not our mother language and we are speaking our own language at home. My son can string 2-3 words now, has expressive vocabulary around 150 words (some of them not clear like he dropped off the 1st or last consonant. he mixed french, english, and our own language sometimes. He really started talking a lot recently (2-3 months ago) which I think kind like late. We put him in a day care (French speaking) 2 times a week. He sometimes like lining up toys cars however he does not get angry when I distract it and ask him to play other thing he will follow me, he has good eye contact but sometimes I feel that he is too shy to new persons that he doesn't know. He avoids to look at them when they look at him but as soon as they don't look at him he will look at them. He likes playing with other kids, however with the kids that he just met he will normally approach them first, not really play, then after a while he plays with them. He understands most of the instruction (2 step instructions) that we instruct him. He alwas happy when I came back from work and runs to me to hug and kiss me and ask me to play with him. The main problem that I have is I never heard him asking me questions like "what's that?" while most of the kids do that at his age? One of my friend said that I'd better check him to ped since not asking question is kind like weird. Should I be worried? Do you see the autism or speech delay sign?

Answer
Hi Sonano,

To answer your most pressing question, no, I don't see autism.

I think you have a child with a reserved personality. It is normal for a child to avoid the gaze of new people. This is a protective behavior. It keeps him from engaging with strangers who may not be safe. If he warms up to new people, given enough time, he's just fine.

His slow language development may be due to the multi-lingual environment, but I know of no research saying that it is a bad thing to grow up with more than one language. That he mixes three languages when he communicates is okay. He IS communicating with language and that is the thing you want. He will sort it all out. Dropping sounds on the beginning and end of words is common in young children.

If you are going to live in France for many years, you might choose to concentrate on French for a while to see if it helps. He will need it to function well in school and with his friends. The day care is a good thing. He learns social skills and the dominant language there.

The one thing I would suggest is, if he has never had his hearing tested, you might want to do that. A hearing problem can be at the root of language delay. If his hearing is fine, relax.

If you begin to see more worrisome symptoms of autism, such as loss of language ability or other loss of development, do see a pediatrician for an evaluation.

Best wishes,
Catherine