Expert: Tim Runner - 10/23/2011

Question
QUESTION: My son is 15 and has just been diagnosed with a mild form of Asbergers.  My son is in high school and is involved in the band and he blossoms on his bagpipes.  Our school is one of 5 in the US that has a bagpipe unit and going to another school is really not an option.  My issue is this.....my son was suspended from school for three days and then summarily kicked out of the bagpipes and the band for a "bullying" incident.  Our issue is that last year, another bagpiper was arrested for breaking into the school - he was suspended and not allowed to participate in band for two months and he was then reinstated.  My son did not do anything like break into the school but he gets a suspension and then thrown out of band period.  I have asked the school at least a million times why the overkill?  Why can he not sit out for the balance of the semester and then be reinstated for concert season?  What I am seeing in my son right now is that he is depressed and feeling targeted.  The psychiatrist that diagnosed him says he would benefit immensely from being reinstated into the bagpipes which is his passion and his lifeline for the day.  The school district is refusing to even listen to us - they say it is over and won't do anything with the new diagnosis information nor will they entertain the possibility of reinstating him along the guidelines I have stated above.  Where is there an advocate for my son who desperately needs this outlet to succeed in school?  How do I make these people understand that as an asbergers student, he needs that focal point to make it through the day?  Can you help me?

ANSWER: Chelle,

I represent a number of students having Aspergers so I understand how devastating this can be for him.  If your son has an IEP, I suggest you call for an IEP meeting to address the situation. The school is only required to "consider" the information from your son's psychologist. But they need to know how hard this is for him. You also need to make sure they are providing him with social skills and pragmatics training. As you know, Aspergers kids have a difficult time interfacing with other students. If he is not receiving these services, you need to indicate that he must receive them to help him to avoid any bullying situations in the future.

If they are still not willing to do anything for him, then you need to write the superintend of your district explaining the circumstances and ask for help. If you son has been the recipient of past bullying incidents, bring them up. Also point out that his behavior is a manifestation of this disability. Ask for equal treatment.

Meantime, I suggest you seek out a group of bagpipe players outside of school for you son to join. Hopefully, you can find one on internet. You might also ask the school adviser to the program at school to recommend outside contacts. I know how devistating this can be for your son.

I wish you and your son the best,
Tim Runner, Advocate
Advocates for Kids
Email: timrunner@gmail.com
Phone: (949) 582-3601
You can learn more at my web site:
www.special-education-answers.com


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: We have explained this to the High School, the Superintendant of Student Services, the overall Superintendant and we have initiated the PTE for him.  He still is seeing that everyone else can get something done about bullying but him.  No one wants to step up and get justice for my son.  I am at my wits end - I can't sleep - I can't eat and he remains feeling like there is a target on his back.  He used to have this outlet everyday in the morning and this carried him through the day and he was doing really well - now I see a difference in his grades and a difference in his self esteem and mostly, I see him crawling inside himself again.  What do I do?  I have already lost 132 pounds and the whole family is suffering because of this.  Where to next?  The hold out is at the actual school level but I can't get an audience with anyone who will listen.

Answer
Chelle,

Based on what you have shared in your questions, you have two options still available. You can file a safety complaint concerning the bullying and the unfair punishment with your state's department of education. You should be able to find out on their web site or by calling them. They will investigate and may or may not take action. The other option is to file for Due Process. To do this you need to be represented by someone like me because parents that try to do it themselves almost always loose. This will be an administrative hearing presided over by an administrative law judge. It is like a trial in that you and the district present witnesses and cross examine the other side's witnesses. Then the judge makes a decision that is binding on everyone. In order to advise you and help you further, I will need to have you become my client and conduct a case review.

You can try the filing of the complaint with the state department of education first, then if that does not work out, you can get someone like me to file for Due Process. Or you can retain my services so that I can do a case review to determine what the best course of action is for you at this time. Then I would prepare a plan and implement it. In the meantime, I still encourage you to find a private group in which your son can play the bagpipes.

I wish you and your son the best,
Tim Runner, Advocate
Advocates for Kids
Email: timrunner@gmail.com
Phone: (949) 582-3601
You can learn more at my web site:
www.special-education-answers.com